


Dark Paradise

by HLBrennan



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Dubious Consent, F/F, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-11
Updated: 2015-03-16
Packaged: 2018-03-01 00:15:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 23,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2752418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HLBrennan/pseuds/HLBrennan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Regina and Emma have had problems in their marriage for a while. It has escalated to the point of Regina considering a divorce, but not having the heart to go through with it. Will they be able to settle whatever dispute is between them, or will it be too late? (Warnings are applied, especially concerning abuse, read at your own discretion.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> This is the beginning of a new story, and I hope you enjoy it. I will attempt to update it once a week, but I can not make any promises. Again, all mistakes are my own.

Pressing Emma down against the mattress with all her strength, Regina worked her body against the blonde, grinding with pure, animalistic desire. There was nothing soft regarding the women’s actions anymore, even after two years of marriage. They didn’t have a regular “date night”, they didn’t use pet names for each other, nor did the “make love” like most married couples did. Something changed both women over the years, and it only brought forth aggression and violence that was released in constant yelling competitions and rough sex; the only way Emma and Regina could truly communicate.

Truth be told, neither women knew how to effectively communicate their insecurities with each other, which lead to overreacting, regretted verbal attacks, and rage filled sexual activities. The latter was unhealthy, but the sex was great, which was exactly what kept the disastrous duo together, that and Henry.

Regina and Emma, mainly the blonde, decided it was best to stay together for Henry though they were emotionally unsatisfied by each other’s presence. But, the women didn’t take into consideration that this arrangement was scarring towards the adolescent boy.

Of course Henry wasn’t completely in the dark regarding his mothers’ relationship, Regina was sure of it, but he didn’t know exactly why the women had the problems they did. All the women were sure of was that they needed to attempt to keep their union of broken glass from shattering further, which was harder than anyone expected.

“Fuck,” Emma hissed with an equal mixture of venom and desperation while piercing her dull nails into Regina’s olive hips, causing the older woman to shudder and gasp. “Harder.”

Regina complied immediately, forcing all her weight on the blonde that use to look at her with utter love and adoration, but was switched with a burning hatred within a short timeframe. If Regina were to be honest, she still loved the younger woman, with every beat of her crooked heart, but wasn’t willing to put herself through the constant pain of loving someone that despised her so fully. Instead, she decided to jump to thin line that separated love and hate, even though the root of her hatred was based upon a ridiculous idea of love.

“Em-ma,” Regina whimpered, stressing the syllables of her wife’s name as the pit previously formed in the bottom of her stomach threatened to explode any moment now, though she tried to prolong it to the best of her abilities because she knew as soon as she and Emma came, the blonde would gather her clothing and trudge to the guest room adjacent to their own.

Emma met every movement feverishly, her hips thrusting wildly while her muscles slowly froze and became rigid. “Come for me, slut,” the blonde cursed, her top lip curling into a snarl as she glanced up at the brunette. Regina may have been positioned on top, but Emma held the real control and both women knew that.

Obeying just as she always does, Regina’s body shuddered for the umpteenth time that night, collapsing on the blonde’s sticky, sweaty chest. The women laid there for a few moments, chests heaving and almost feeling content with the affection before Emma carelessly shrugged Regina off.

Regina watched wearily as her wife stood from the bed and bent at the hip to grab her clothing from the floor. The woman was still as breathtaking as ever, even with her blonde tresses sticking to the back of her neck and top of her forehead due to the physical exertions. All the while, Regina’s heart was breaking once again watching Emma retreat to the guest bedroom because she couldn’t stand sleeping next to Regina anymore.

“Emma, wait,” Regina called, finally feeling the strength to sit up from the bed at the expense of hurting herself further.

Just as the blonde grabbed for the door knob, she turned around with an exasperated sigh. “What?” she snapped, obviously anxious to leave.

Taking a deep breath, Regina braced herself for rejection, her fingers weaving nervously in her lap. “When did you stop loving me?” he brunette asked with a small voice, the words fading into the monotonous silence of the mayoral mansion.

“The same time you stopped loving me.” Emma responded smoothly, taking that as her cue to leave the room.

And just as the bedroom door shut with a click, Regina was left all alone, just as she usually was. She stood from the bed and cleaned up the bedroom, tossing her soiled clothing in the hamper while grabbing a blue robe from a hanger on the bathroom door. Slipping the silk over her shoulders, she tied the rope around her waist and walked to the window, opening it effortlessly. The cool, Maine breeze glided across Regina’s bare thighs, caressing every inch of exposed skin and causing the brunette to shiver, though she should have been accustomed to the feeling.

Ever since she and Emma had formed their routine, Regina became a robot afterwards, going about the motions like a mindless machine. She would go about the same things every time, grabbing a robe, straightening up the room, looking out of the window with a glass of scotch, and eventually sobbing herself to sleep. Today was a little different; she didn’t have the cold, crystal glass of scotch to drown her sorrows in, but she didn’t want it anyhow. It wouldn’t be strong enough anyhow, not like it ever was. Regina wanted something, anything that would numb the pain and permanently fill the deeply engraved hole in her black heart. Sadly, nothing worked. No matter what Regina did, nothing would fill the aching feeling in her chest knowing her own wife didn’t love her. If anything, Regina would fall to her last resort: ripping her beating heart from her chest. It would make the days to come bearable, it was better than faking it.

Regina’s mind wandered nostalgically, reminiscing on the days that Emma constantly reminded her that she loved the brunette, whether it was an appropriate time or not. She remembered the nights the blonde would insist on kissing every inch of her skin to show her undying devotion before completing her quest at the apex of the brunette’s thighs with Emma’s mouth and tongue twirling through neatly combed, dark brown curls. Somewhere between those two points, the blonde would make an immature and crude remark regarding how Regina’s curtains matched the drapes, which the brunette was reluctant to admit she missed among other childish actions Emma Swan was known to partake in. That was the woman Regina married. She married the Emma that had to have cinnamon in her hot cocoa, that made jokes frequently uttered by teenage boys, and who was the only person bad enough to toilet paper the house and fork the lawn belonging to the mayor/ former Evil Queen.

Ending her useless departure to her memories, Regina walked towards her bed and shed the robe from her body before slipping into the far from comfortable (emotionally) blankets and curling herself into a loose fetal position, clutching to the pillow stained with the fragrant smell of Emma’s strawberry shampoo.

“You fucking idiot,” Regina sobbed into the thin white fabric. Ever since she married the blonde, she gathered the blonde’s habit of cursing, but not as frequently as Emma. Still, the eloquence in her vocabulary was masked with vulgarity. “I never stopped loving you.” And that was the utter truth. Not even Emma’s superpower could deny that, if she actually heard it.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am horrible with summaries, so just read the chapter and figure out what happens.  
> Trigger warnings of abuse closer to the end of the chapter.

The next day clashed into Regina’s typical routine. She woke up before the alarm with a maximum of three scattered hours of nightmare infested sleep, showered to rid herself of the musky smell of sweat, shame, and sleep deprivation, and stumbled into the kitchen to fix Henry breakfast before school. Somewhere between flipping pancakes and filling the teakettle with water, Henry would stroll downstairs, looking dashing in his school uniform of khakis and a navy blue polo, with his mother in her leather jacket and tight jeans. Henry would greet her informally with a small grunt and quick glance before returning his attention to his phone screen. Emma would play them off as the happy couple they were and kiss the brunette’s cheek before settling down with the morning paper.

The whole family was stuck in a routine, which may have caused the distance between both women. With the spontaneity gone, the spark left their relationship and, dare Regina even think it, Emma grew bored of her. It was troublesome to even consider such a possibility, but the chances were in the possibility’s favor.

“Shoot,” Regina murmured, accidentally scolding her first finger on the side on the skillet. She rushed to the sink and turned on the tap, letting the cold water soothe the quick shock of searing pain. When the tingling underneath her skin subsided, Regina dried her hand and hurried back to the stove just before the pancakes burnt on the bottoms.

After flipping each pancake, Regina glanced out the window and noticed the downpour of precipitation. A heavy sigh escaped her lips as she returned her attention back to the stove, knowing in the back of her head she’ll be “supermom” once again. It was bad enough with it being flu season, but rain made it ten times worse.

The repetition of heavy footsteps knocked Regina out of her head and back to her motherhood.She straightened her spine, standing a little taller than she was previously, tilted her chin upward, and tried painting on a smile but she couldn't. Regina was beyond exhausted with pretending to be happily married to Emma when she wasn't.

“Morning mom,” Henry grunted, rubbing his eyes with one hand while his phone buzzed alight with a text message.

Regina looked at him lovingly, a soft grin forming on her lips as she grabbed a dish and played the finished pancakes. This is what kept Emma with her: Henry. If they didn't share a son, the blonde most definitely would have left by now.

“Good morning, my little prince!” Regina exclaimed, pouring more batter on the skillet before grabbing the syrup from one of the cabinets and placing it on the counter.

“I'm not a kid anymore mother.”

His whine brought another smile on the brunette’s scarlet painted lips. No matter how old Henry got, he would always remain as Regina’s prince.

Regina nodded softly, rolling her eyes at her son before returning to her domestic duties and turning over more pancakes. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Emma, who was shrugging her jacket on as she approached. A fake smile tugged at the corners of her lips as she locked eyes with Regina. The brunette knew what was coming, she expected it. Emma wrapped her arm around Regina’s waist loosely before leaning in to place her lips on the brunette’s. Regina almost let her wife kiss her. Almost. Turning her head to the other side, Regina pushed Emma away gently, avoiding the pale, pink lips as if they were laced with nitroglycerin. The mayor felt bad for neglecting her wife like that, and going against their “deal”, but she couldn't keep up their little façade. The lie was eating her up inside.

Swiftly slipping out of the blonde’s reach, Regina walked to the opposite side of the kitchen and grabbed two travel mugs and a packet of green tea for each mug. Using her peripheral vision, Regina watched Emma stiffen, huff, and stomp out of their kitchen to heaven knows where.

Henry’s voice interrupted the thick silence. “Are you and mom fighting again?"

Apparently Henry paid more attention to his surroundings and mothers than Regina gave him credit for. She tried to smile, but failed and pursed her lips together instead, “Yes, we are, but we’ll be alright, we always are.” The woman wasn't sure if she was reassuring Henry or herself, but the words seemed to comfort the curious boy for the time being.

With an audible sigh, Regina turned the stove off, plated the remaining flapjacks, and commenced with packing Emma and Henry’s lunches. The mayor packed Henry’s favorite; a ham sandwich with chips and a banana on the side; and Emma’s usual; a turkey club with pretzels. She packed the contents into separate brown bags, writing their names neatly in permanent marker. Henry grabbed his lunch as soon as Regina finished packing it and said he was getting a ride from one of his soccer friends, causing mixed emotions to course through her. The older woman was over the moon knowing her son was fairly social and skilled in sports: soccer being his favorite, as well as Regina’s. Emma was a hockey fan, so it was a good thing that, for the most part, their main seasons weren't occurring at the same time.

The mayor watched as Henry shouted a goodbye to both of his mothers before rushing out the door, backpack slung over his shoulder, phone between his fingers. After making sure the vehicle drove off, Regina walked back upstairs, ignoring her better instinct of finding where Emma went off to. But, the blonde was a grown woman, she didn't need Regina hovering over her shoulder protectively. That was Snow’s job. Marching to her bedroom, her brown eyes widened to see Emma seated on the bed, most likely expecting the sherif to have stayed downstairs. The blonde held a picture frame in her hands, and Regina knew exactly what picture was in the frame.

The couple decided to have pre-engagement photos done, as well as family portraits. The picture in particular was one of her and Emma, the blonde’s arms wrapped possessively around the mayor’s waist from behind. Both women had an open mouth smile on their faces, laughing openly together at some idiotic remark that Emma had made. It was impossible to keep track of them, there were too many.

“What're you trying to prove Regina?” The sheriff questioned, breaking the ice and causing the brunette to jump.

Regina took a deep breath and put on her politician’s smile as she walked to her closet, grabbing a scarf to accompany her deep amethyst blouse and black slacks. “I don't know what you're referring to.”

“Bullshit!”

The frame that Emma had been holding was launched across the room, hitting the closet door inches away from Regina’s head. Glass shattered on the carpeting, and fear began to set into the mayor. This was new for Emma. Never in her rage had she broken things: that was usually Regina, but something snapped in the blonde and the older woman was truly fearful of what she was capable of.

“You're unbelievable!” Emma cried out, flailing her arms in the air. “Why would you pull such a stunt in front of my son like that?”

Snorting in utter disbelief, Regina slammed the closet shut and walked towards the door, needing to get out of this situation before she said something she'd regret, or worse. She had reached the door just as a hand clasped tightly around her wrist, holding her in place with brute force. Turning around slightly, Regina blinked a few times, staring into the green orbs that bore into her soul with so much contempt and loathing.

“You're not going anywhere just yet. We’re not done here.”

“I need to go to work, Emma,” Regina said flatly, almost bored with the conversation but inside she was shaking in her boots.  
A snort of laughter erupted from Emma’s throat as she maneuvered and pushed Regina against a wall, face inches away from the other woman’s. Her teeth were bared in a snarl, threatening the former queen with blinding intensity. The duo stayed there for a moment, breaths heavy and intermingling with the palpable scent of tension. Not a moment too soon, Emma released the brunette, taking a step back and running a hand through her long, golden mane.

Regina took a deep breath, clenching her diaphragm before expelling the air and flattening out her blouse with her palms. She held her head up, chin pointed forward and pushed her body off the wall, walking straight past the blonde, heels clacking against the marble floors and stairwell. Her heart raced in her chest and once she was downstairs, she took almost hyperventilated breaths, desperate to breath. Never had she experienced that type of fear with her wife. Her mother, sure, but not Emma. This just proved just how much Emma had changed, though Regina wasn't exactly sure when it all started.

Taking a breath, the mayor glanced out the window beside the door, noticing the steady drops of water that fell, bursting against the sidewalk. It was always a beautiful sight, but today, and most importantly recently, she was tired and hurt. Not even the comfort of the rain could soothe her.

Rubbing at her loosely shut eyes, Regina blindly moved to the coat closet, grabbing her jacket from a hanger and setting out Emma’s, though she probably shouldn't have. She shouldn't be catering to the blonde’s needs, especially when they were just arguing and Emma had laid her hands on the brunette. But, there were some things that wouldn't change, and that was how Regina felt about Emma. The brunette would always be under this curse, loving a woman who absolutely despised her, yet had no motive as far as Regina was concerned.

Just as the mayor slipped on her jacket, the blonde emerged from the stairs, practically stomping to the door with a look of indifference. “You may want an actual jacket,” Regina advised, buttoning the jacket up her torso and grabbing a black umbrella.

Emma responded with a snort, opening the door and slamming it behind her before driving off in that familiar yellow bug. Regina sighed heavily, rolling her eyes at the woman that acted more so like a child than the adult she was supposed to be. Walking out of the house, Regina locked the door and proceeded to her car, avoiding the drizzle of rain. This was going to be a long day, she had no doubt of that.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Again, no summary. All mistakes are mine. Some minor trigger warnings close to the end, veiwer discretion is advised.

Two mornings later Regina followed her same routine. She was in the midst of fixing breakfast when she heard heavy footsteps dragging lazily against the floors. Lifting her head from the stove, Regina spotted Emma, who looked absolutely horrid. Her blonde hair was matted and tangled, sticking out in multiple directions. Green eyes were red and irritated, glazed over and closed slightly with dark rings encircling them. Emma’s cheeks were blotchy, a tint of pink that almost resembled red. The sheriff’s posture was hunched, clad in blue flannel pajama pants and a black tee shirt, both articles of clothing wrinkles and bunched at the hems.

“Hey,” Emma muttered before sitting in one of the chairs in front of the island, laying her head against the countertop.  
Regina frowned at the state her wife was in and shook her head, walking around the counter to place a hand on Emma’s back. 

“Head up, please.”

Surprisingly the blonde didn't argue, but complied to what Regina asked of her, just barely lifting her head up. Out of motherly instinct, the mayor pressed her lips against Emma’s forehead, an influx of warmth radiating off of the woman’s damp forehead. It was obvious the sheriff wasn't feeling well, that Regina knew, but now she knew Emma also had a fever.

“You're burning up.”

With a small shrug, Emma put her head back down, most likely enjoying the feeling of the cool stone against her head. “I feel like shit.”

Regina shook her head and walked over to the cabinets, checking the one with various types of medication ranging from pain to flu. She picked out a few different types of medication, depending on Emma’s symptoms. All were regarding fever, but one was specifically flu, another was for a head cold, and the other was for strep throat.

“What hurts?” Regina asked as she scanned one of the bottles, reading the dosage and warnings.

“My head, every muscle in my body, my throat when I swallow. Everything.”  
Looking up from the label, the mayor’s brown eyes squinted, her mind working. 

“Are you congested? Feeling weak and exhausted?”

Emma nodded slowly, shoulders sagging as she took a shallow breath. “Yeah.”

Picking up another bottle, Regina grabbed a spoon and placed both items in front of Emma. She pitied the blonde. Maybe she should stay home from work today to take care of her. But, this was the result of Emma not listening to her once again. If the sheriff would have worn a jacket two days ago instead of walking in the rain as Regina advised, they wouldn't be in this situation. This could possibly teach the blonde to listen to we more often, but Regina highly doubted such a thing.

“Take two teaspoons of this every three hours. Go lay down in bed and I'll bring you some water to keep you hydrated.”

With that, Regina went back to cooking, a smile forming on her lips as she heard Henry coming down the stairs. He was later than usual and the former queen figured he had overslept. By the looks of the teen as he rushed through the kitchen, grabbing an apple from the refrigerator and a bottle of water, Regina knew her assumption was correct.

“Sorry moms, running late” Henry called as he ran through the house, putting on his shoes and slinging his backpack over his shoulders. “I'll see you after practice!”

Before the older woman could yell out a response the front door was slammed shut. Regina took a breath and lifted her head to keep the disappointment from showing, shutting off the eggs that had just finished scrambling. Even if Henry was almost grown, she stilled wished he was a child again, depending on her to feed him, take him to school and practice, and do his laundry. Of course Regina still did his laundry, because after the last time when he almost overfilled the washer, she didn't trust him to touch the machine any longer. Still, she wished he still depended on her; it made her feel needed and at the moment, she felt extremely unwanted, unappreciated.

Regina plated the food and finally glanced at Emma to watch her grimace as she shoved a heart spoonful of dark red liquid into her mouth. “Yuck,” Emma complained, wrinkling her nose as she poured another spoon. “This is disgusting.” And just as fast as the spoon was filled, it was empty, the sheriff’s face contorting in disgust immediately.

“You should go lay down,” the brunette suggested, taking the medicine and spoon from the blonde and placing them away for later. “The more sleep you get the better you'll feel.”

“Why do you care?”

The way Emma spoke was filled with more contempt than usual. It hurt Regina to know her wife hated her. Maybe she should just divorce her, end this pitiful marriage. Actually, this wasn't a marriage, it was a battle, and Emma was winning.

Closing her eyes, Regina pressed two fingers against the bridge of her nose, hoping to alleviate and postpone the headache she knew was coming. “You're still my wife Emma. Despite what you wish to believe, I love you and care about your well being.”

“You're quite a good liar,” the sheriff complimented, her words masked in sarcasm and belittling, “but you're not convincing me.”

Regina swore her blood pressure was inching upwards just being around the blonde woman, but she continued to suscep herself to this kind of relationship. To this type of abuse. She put up with Emma’s behavior for only one reason: love, but it seemed as if it was losing its validity after each passing day she dealt with the disrespectful words and constant attitude.

Sighing in defeat, the brunette muttered a “Fine, believe what you wish” and turned away from the blonde, looking out the kitchen window.

“Why are you still here? Shouldn't you be working."

At the sudden change of topics, Regina tilted her head to the side, but sighed in resignation, metaphorically throwing in the towel concerning Emma. She knew what the best option was, and going to work definitely seemed favorable.

“I was going to take care of you for today,” Regina snapped, pressing her lips into a fine line. There was only so much she could take, and this was her breaking point for the day. “But, seeing as you're going to be an ungrateful bitch to me, I'm leaving for work right now. I'll pick up Henry after school and order takeout that I'll pick up on my way home with him. I truly hope you're happy with yourself.”

And with that, Regina was storming out of the kitchen, grabbing her car keys and jacket as she went, heels clacking against the floors, then the concrete.

Emma’s attitude with her was inexcusable. Regina understood that the woman felt awful, but there was no need for her to be rude with her as all she was trying to accomplish was caring for her sick wife. 'I didn't do a thing wrong,' Regina thought to herself, stepping on the gas of her Benz, speeding down the street.

Why was she still doing this to herself? Why couldn't she just accept the fact that Emma had fallen out of love with her? Her mother was right all along. Everything the woman said was right and Regina should have trusted that.

Regina parked her car and rushed into her office, ignoring her secretary that greeted her with his usual pep. She wanted to get her work done before Henry got out of school so she could go watch him practice, but it was always wishful thinking when she had no clue how many meetings and how many pieces of paperwork needed filed. Sitting herself at her desk, Regina patted her pantsuit down and grabbed the files placed on her desk, commencing with proofing and signing each paper carefully.


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine. Some minor trigger warnings of alcohol abuse close to the end, veiwer discretion is advised.

“Regina.”

A knock on the door of her study disrupted her work. Lifting her head from the paperwork, Regina took a deep breath and slid off her glasses, pressing her lips into a fine line. Since Emma had been sick, Regina avoided her like the plague, not wanting to face the blonde’s sour mood and hateful gaze. Apparently Emma was feeling better after a rough estimate of one week, but the brunette still kept her distance, going to work and coming straight home to her study to commence with more work: which usually consisted of reading a novel or two and drinking cider, but tonight she actually needed to finish reading and editing these documents.

“It’s not even seven yet, but I'll start dinner in a few minutes.” Regina assumed, turning to face the blonde clad in sweats and a shirt, messy curls pulled back in a ponytail. She guessed the sheriff had either just got off of work and wanted to change, or went out and drank with Ruby. Either way, Regina didn't care, so she turned back to her work and commenced with filing out the paperwork, ignoring the fidgeting savior in the doorway.

“I don't—“ Emma stopped, and the brunette shook her head, “that's not what I came in here for.”

The mayor’s tone was dismissive, cold, despite the fact that she wasn’t truly upset with the woman. “Then what.”

Still, she didn't glance away from her papers, but she could audibly hear Emma closing the distance between them, standing on the brunette’s right side. With the lack of distance, Regina could smell the musky scent of alcohol on the blonde’s clothing and, most importantly, her breath.

“I'm sorry, I promise I won’t do that ever again.” The sheriff murmured, kneeling down and placing one hand on the mayor’s cheek then trailing it down to her neck softly. The action sent gooseflesh along Regina’s spine, somewhat warming her heart at the sudden affection that Emma had so frequently denied her of.

Tilting her head on an angle, the brunette inhaled slowly, the corners of her lips tugging upwards into a small smile. Emma was promising her, she seemed sincerely sorry and hopefully willing to make up for it. And just like that, Regina was wrapped around the blonde’s finger: hook, line, and sinker. “It's alright.”

Emma smiled brightly, which in turn caused Regina to follow suit. The brunette raised her hands to Emma’s neck and pulled her close, bringing their lips together gently. Regina wanted to savor this moment, she could at least pretend there was no bad blood between them, that her wife wasn't continuously irritated with her. All the mayor wanted was the sheriff’s love: and she had that, but somewhere between then and now, something changed, and Regina was intent on finding out. But, tonight was not the time. She was happy, Emma was content, and for the night they could be the family that Henry deserved.

“Now,” Emma muttered against Regina’s lips, breaking their kiss, “about dinner..”

With a hearty chuckle, the brunette pushed the blonde away slightly, standing and flattening out her black, wrinkled skirt. Regina noticed the time, 18:45, and blinked away the thought that time practically flew as she grew older. She hadn't intended to be working this long without starting dinner. “Why don't you order a pizza for pick up and I will get Henry from practice and dinner on the way home?”

It was never common for Regina to be so willing to order pizza, but as she had work that still needed to be completed and there was a limited amount of hours in a day, she had come to accept the fact that ordering takeout was a tad more acceptable than spending an hour or so slaving over a stove. That didn't mean she would carelessly order junk though. Regina was meticulous with the frequency of when they ate it and what they ate. Usually the Swan-Mills family ate something artery-clogging three or four times a month and usually on the weekends. Other than that, Regina happily made health-conscious meals for her family.

“Sounds like a plan,” the sheriff grinned, leaving Regina alone in the study.

Almost immediately did Regina put her files away, neatly stacking them alphabetically. She grabbed her heels from under the mahogany desk and slid them on, grabbing her keys and coat before leaving the house.

The brunette arrived at the soccer field exactly at 19:00, just as Henry was bidding farewell to a group of friends. A large sports bag was slung over his shoulder, accompanied with his school bag, cleats and water bottle in hand. His dark hair was ruffled, sticking to the top of his forehead slightly. Dark green stains clad his –of course, white uniform. The knee high socks that Regina thought of as an abomination were wrinkled down to his ankles. Bruises caressed his pale legs in shades of purples and greens.

“How was practice?” Regina questioned as soon as the adolescent boy slipped into the car, tossing his bags into the back seat carelessly despite the knowledge of his mother’s OCD.

“Tiring.” He responded simply, slouching in passenger seat with his phone between his fingers, oblivious to his surroundings. “What's for dinner?”

Shaking her head, Regina should have known that was the first thing that would come from his mouth, especially knowing who his mother was. “Pizza. Your mother called it in and we’re going to pick it up.”

Turning the corner, Regina only noticed Henry nod from her peripheral vision. She couldn't help but think of how fast he had grown. Time really flew by, especially with children. Before long Henry would be going on dates, finishing high school, going to college –Regina’s head stopped at the thought. Henry would be leaving for college sooner than she imagined. These few years would go by rapidly, if not even faster than the others. It was hard to believe that her little prince would be leaving the nest, going off to live his life in the real world, no longer under the safety of his mothers. Concentrating on her driving, the mayor shook herself from her thoughts, trying to appreciate the here and now rather than worry about tomorrow and the days to come.

—chapter break—

Last night had gone exceptional well, Regina believed. She and Emma had dinner together with Henry comfortably, a smile of each of their lips as they casually conversed about their days. Neither had argued, snapped, or hurt the other. Emma had even kissed the brunette goodnight before retiring after watching Henry’s choice of movie. Regina smiled fondly, remember the way the blonde’s lips felt against hers, moving slowly together. The thought sent her out of her daydream, remembering where she was and what she was supposed to be doing.

The mayor had decided to take the day off in order to clean her house top to bottom while Henry was at school and Emma at work. It wasn't as if her house was cluttered with junk: that Regina avoided entirely, but just picking up a mess was not considered clean. The mayoral mansion needed a deep clean, not a surface clean. The shelves needed to be dusted, floors swept, bedding washed, windows cleaned, etcetera, and Regina was intent on finishing each task today with expert care. 

Deciding to start laundry, Regina went to Henry’s bedroom and stripped his bed, doing the same with her own, and finally Emma’s. She entered the guest room slowly, immediately inhaling Emma’s soft scent that so gently masked the bedroom. The first thing Regina noticed of the room was the pile of clothes stacked in the corner. The curtains of the windows were drawn and the bed covers were haphazardly flung on the bed, dangling off the edges. Regina shook her head at the sloppiness, but ignored it for now, gathering the sheets from the bed.

One sheet fell to the side of the bed, and just as the mayor reached down to pick it up, her finger touched something hard. Settling on her knees, Regina looked under the bed, something telling her to somewhat invade the blonde’s privacy. When she glanced underneath the bed, Regina was shocked at what she found. Numerous glass bottles of liquor were stashed underneath, most empty but some half filled. The labels varied from Jack Daniels to Jose Cuervo and every other type of hard liquor that Regina knew. This must've been some of what Emma was drinking last night. It was also the most probable reason as to why Emma was so apologetic to her. She was drunk, but why hadn't Regina noticed? Sure she could smell the alcohol on the sheriff’s breath and clothing, but her eyes weren't dilated. Her speech wasn't slurred and her motor functions were average. In all actuality, Emma seemed as normal as she used to be.

Regina sighed heavily, not entirely sure what she should do. She didn't want Emma getting upset with her for finding her stash of alcohol, but she also didn't want Henry to get ahold of these. The brunette was conflicted to say the least, but in her best attempt to keep the wave of peace that was overwhelming Emma, she stood up with the sheets and walked out, leaving the bottles where the had been. The mayor would eventually confront the sheriff about her drinking, but now wasn't the time, though Regina was starting to wonder when the time would be.


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings close to the end, once again. All mistakes are mine.

Wrapping her coat around her body tighter, Regina held her coffee close to her chest, eyes zoned in on the soccer field in front of her. She watched the boys dribble the ball between each other, avoiding the other team with elaborate passes. It was one of Henry’s last games and she and Emma had promised they’d go. They didn’t really need to promise such a thing though; they never missed a game in the first place. Even with their hectic work schedules, both women made sure they were there to support their son.

Standing from her seat, Regina almost tossed her beverage aside in preference of clapping and cheering for her son. Henry was approaching the goal swiftly, but a defender was getting ready to tackle, sprinting at Henry with such speed. Henry passed the ball to another teammate quickly, changing the other boy’s course of action. And just as Henry positioned himself closer to the next and out of the goalie’s sight, the ball was passed back to him, but within seconds the ball was soaring across the small expanse of the field and collided with the top left corner of the net. The team rushed and jumped on Henry and Regina squealed with pure elation. She practically jumped for joy on the bleachers, cheering over her son’s accomplishment.

In the process of her elation, Regina glanced over at her blonde wife, whom had stood up as soon as Henry scored a goal. Emma had her mitten clad hands cupped by her mouth, funneling her shouts. Their gazes collided instantly, pools of green and brown smiling at each other, rejoicing in their son’s achievement. Regina reached her hand out and clasped the sheriff’s tenderly. They stayed there for a moment, the brunette’s heart racing at the affection before sitting back down and enjoying the continuation of the game.

The mayor couldn’t have been more proud of her son, or happier with her wife. For what it was worth, Emma had been pretty mild-tempered for the past few days. Yet still, the blonde slept in the guestroom and had yet to have meaningful sex with the former queen. While Regina did enjoy the feeling of her wife’s aggressive, sexual nature, she still wished to consummate their love in a more reserved or traditional manner.

The majority of the rest of the game went uneventful, minus a few minor penalties and a yellow card on Henry’s friend Drew for a side tackle. Regina grabbed her purse and walked over to the benches or Henry’s team set, exhausted yet hyped from their most recent one. For the most part, Regina ignored the nipping chill that touched her skin through a pair of jeans, a short sleeve shirt, a sweatshirt, and a coat with the scarf, but now, her body shivered, feeling expose. With as bundled as she was, she wondered how these boys weren’t suffering from pneumonia with their clothing, or lack there of.

Regina’s maternal instincts kicked in. She knew Henry he could get sick being out and roughly fifty degree weather with a flimsy uniform of shorts and a jersey and no undershirt despite her wishes. The teenage boy had even refused a proper jacket, bringing only a light jacket as then as string. The boy would surely get sick if the mayor stood by and did nothing. That logic, Regina approached the group of boys, standing behind Henry quietly. One of the boys beside Henry glanced at her with a wide smile, then leaned over to Henry and murmured in his ear --with seem to be-- a secret. Too bad the boy’s voice was too loud for secret sharing and Regina had wonderful hearing, yet she still wondered what the child had met when he used the term MILF regarding the former queen.

“Henry,” Regina interrupted, her tone almost chastising her son for smacking the boy. “We best be leaving, your grandparents are coming over for dinner.”

The thought of having the Charmings over did not thrill Regina, but she could surely tolerate their company for a few hours. She didn't despise Emma’s parents, but there was only so much “True Love” that she could handle, especially when it came to Snow White. Regina would definitely be able to somewhat handle Charming’s company over his wife’s. David was by far more tolerable than Snow in the mayor’s opinion. The man gave more interesting conversation as opposed to what hideous sweater Mary Margaret had purchased, and he definitely made Regina more comfortable knowing that he had been the first to accept her and Emma’s relationship. He also, slightly, reminded Regina of her late father. It was easier for the queen to talk to a man that shared similar qualities with her father rather than an insufferable, sickly sweet woman with who she tried to kill numerous times.

With a grumble in his throat, Henry stood with his sports bag and told his friends goodbye, following the path Regina took as she wandered back to Emma, who was casually talking to Ruby. Even the usually skimpy wolf was dressed in more clothes than Henry.

“Why hello, Madame Mayor,” Ruby greeted, flashing a toothy smile.

Regina stood beside her wife and returned the gesture. “Hello Miss Lucas, nice to see you supporting our little team on such a cold evening.”

The brunette kept her politician’s smile on, nodding every now and them as the wolf spoke, but it was getting far too late and Regina still needed to prepare dinner.

“…and then we-“

“I’m afraid we need to leave, Miss Lucas. I must get dinner started and it's already terribly late. Perhaps we could continue this conversation in the morning at the diner.”

Ruby nodded her head, a smile once more playing on her lips. “Of course! Have a nice night, Regina. See ya’ later Em, don’t forget!”

Watching as the younger brunette left, Regina turned to face her wife, who was looking at her phone with intensity. “What does she not want you to forget?” She questioned, finally noticing Henry leaning against her car rather impatiently.

“I'm meeting Ruby, Belle, and Ashley at the Rabbit Hole tonight for a drink or two.” Ea muttered casually, eyes still trained on her phone as she walked to the car beside Regina.

Something similar to apprehension twisted Regina’s stomach in knots at the idea of Emma going out for drinks. Usually the thought didn't worry the brunette, but after finding liquor bottles under the sheriff’s bed, the idea of the blonde drinking made Regina queasy. Despite how she felt, the mayor kept her mouth shut, still unwilling to stir up muddy waters with Emma. The fantasy of a happy ending still plagued Regina’s thoughts, and if this was how she would have a happy ending –despite how selfish it seemed –then she would do what it took, even if it meant her wife constantly drinking.

The car ride home was silent and short lived. Afterwards was no better. Henry immediately went to his bedroom and Emma followed suit, leaving Regina to cook dinner alone. This would have been an opportune time to confront Emma about the bottles, but the mayor had far too much to do before she could worry about the blonde savior. So Regina commenced with dinner, boiling water and making a thick, creamy Alfredo sauce before sautéing shrimp in garlic. Before long, the doorbell rang and Regina waited to see if either Emma or Henry would answer the door. When Regina realized their help would not come, she wiped her hands on her apron and set it aside to greet her somewhat welcome guests.

As soon as the door was opened, the former queen was practically mauled by Snow White, engulfed in an overly zealous embrace. “Thank you so much for having us, Regina!” The pixie haired princess exclaimed with an exuberant smile.

“It's no trouble,” Regina replied with a politician’s smile, stepping out of the doorway to let the couple inside.

“Regina.” Charming greeted cooly, closing the door behind him and Snow.

With a bright flash of her teeth, the mayor greeted David similarly. She called out to Henry and Emma from the bottom of the stairs, informing them of their guests’ arrival before going back into the kitchen to finish the Alfredo. Within minutes of continuing dinner, Regina heard her family conversing and laughing with the Charmings. Regina slightly wished she could be a part of the gathering, but someone had to be responsible for finishing the pasta, and it surely wasn't going to be Mary Margaret.

“Need some help?”

Regina practically jumped from her spot in front of the stove, turning to see David in the doorway, leaning against the frame. When she saw the man, Regina smiled softly, rolling her eyes. 

“How very chivalrous of you, Prince Charming,” the mayor teased, stirring the sauce slowly to the perfect viscosity.

David chuckled heartily, moving over to the refrigerator to grab a bottle of water. “ I try, your Majesty.”

Recently they had been more comfortable with each other; using their titles from the Enchanted Forest, for instance. Regina usually referred to the man as Charming, but the title was normally laced with venom. But, as the relationship evolved, the poison disintegrated slowly and transformed into friendly teasing.

“Well, perhaps you could make yourself useful and set the table for me,” The brunette shrugged casually, moving to the sink to drain her pasta.

Not long after David left the room, he returned with a smile, purposely bumping his hip against Regina’s. “Done."

“It looks like you’re actually good at something besides making a fool out of yourself.”

The mayor’s response received a childish glare, accompanied with a tongue sticking out between thin lips. “So done with your shit Regina,” David murmured, crossing his arms over his chest. The grown man looked exactly like Emma, which in turn resembled Henry. And yet another thing ran in the Charming family.

With a small giggle, the former queen rolled her eyes and walked past David, a serving dish filled with Alfredo in hand. “Get over it, dear.”

In minutes everyone appeared in the dining room, eagerly eating and conversing. From Regina’s angle of vision, they looked like the perfect family. Henry was chatting with David about soccer while Emma humored Snow’s fantasies of trying to convince the blonde to allow her to give her a “makeover”, complete with a mani-pedi, new hairstyle, and change of wardrobe.

“I like my clothes just fine mom, no thank you,” Emma said with a laugh, shoving a fork full of noodles into her mouth.

“Regina!” Snow called, using her foot to gently rock Neal in his car seat. “Don't you think Emma needs to go shopping?”

Raising her eyebrows, the mayor wipped with her lips with her napkin and slowly cleared her throat. She glanced at the blonde to find emerald eyes staring right through her. “It wouldn’t hurt to buy yourself, at least, a new jacket.” Regina finally answered, taking a sip of the wine in front of her.

“See!” Snow exclaimed.

Emma calmly rolled her eyes and took another bite. “Not gonna happen.”

The mother-daughter duo continued to bicker and before long, the party had moved to the living room. Henry was playing some game on his phone while Regina and David talked about how to get the other two women to drop the subject.

“You could enact another sleeping purse.”

“On which one?”

“Preferably both.”

Chuckling at the simplicity of the answer, Regina shook her head, putting her hand on David’s knee, who sat beside her on the sofa. “But then I’d still be stuck with you, my dear,” the mayor reasoned.

“I am so done with your shit, Regina,” Charming repeated for, what seemed to be, the fifth time that night. He jokingly pushed the brunette, causing Regina to lean to one side.

Regina shoved David back, a wide grin painted on her lips. “You’re all bark and no bite, Prince.”

“Oh, I’ll show you bite,” The man replied before wrapping his forearm around Regina’s collarbone loosely.

“Get off of me or so help me, I'll-“

Charming cut Regina off, teasing laced in his thick voice, “Or what? You'll ruin my happiness?”

Their roughhousing caught the attention of Emma and Snow, but Regina paid no mind to them as she wrapped her fingers around David's forearm, piercing her nails into his arm.

“Ow!” Charming practically squealed, instantly releasing Regina with a pout.

“Destroy,” the former queen said simply, ignoring the Prince’s cry, “not ruin. Your memory seems to be slipping as you age.”

Snow stood before David could rebuttal, holding Neal to her chest. “And that looks like our cue to leave,” she stated with a chuckle.

Smirking victoriously, Regina stood as well, followed by David and Emma, and saw her guests out, bidding them farewell before leaving her and Emma in the foyer alone. Overall, the night was a success, even with Snow White. Regina could honestly admit that tonight was enjoyable. She still felt uncertain about having the Charmings over, despite how frequently they had gotten together over the course of the mayor and sheriff’s relationship, but it was getting exceptionally easier.

“I need a drink,” the blonde announced, turning towards the kitchen.

Regina’s heart pounded in her chest, words piling in her stomach. They threatened to spew out like word vomit, completely able to jeopardize the peace between her and Emma, but the desire to know her wife was safe, and sober, outweighed the consequences.

“No you don't.”

Regina’s words were firm and final, almost authoritarian in tone, causing Emma to stop in her tracks. The blonde turned around dangerously slow, eyes narrowed and brows furrowed at the brunette. In that moment, Regina tried to hold her ground, standing with feet planted on the floor and arms securely crossed over her chest, resembling a mother confronting her child. Regina seemed cool and confident, but inside, her stomach was tossing and turning with waves of doubt, discomfort, and anxiety.

“No?” Emma questioned, raising her eyebrow. “And what makes you so sure that I don’t? I need a drink every minute that I’m around you!”

“So that’s why you have bottles of liquor hidden underneath your bed.” Regina reasoned, taking a languid breath. Her voice cracked showing her vulnerability, practically hanging her weakness on a billboard for everyone to see. “That's why you’ve been so happy lately, why you haven’t forced yourself on me at night!”

The brunette was shaking, even though she had a feeling this was happening. Regina should’ve known that this was the situation. There was no other reason as to why Emma would suddenly switched her attitude other than the fact that the blonde was just drunk enough to function. The thought pissed her off to no extent, not regarding Emma, but with herself. How has she been so stupid?

“You went into my room?” Emma hollered, disregarding personal space and charging Regina, press in the mayor against a wall. “You have absolutely no right!”

The brunettes mind begin spinning. Her muscles stiffened beneath the blonde and the wall. She flexed your hands, trying futilely to remove Emma’s fingers with any magic she could muster, but to no avail. Fear was beginning to burrow its way into the mayor’s stomach, witnessing, and feeling, the younger woman’s uncharacteristic aggression.

“And you have no right to touch me in such a manner,” the former queen choked out with all the pride and integrity she had left, provoking her wife further. Of course it wasn’t the wisest of options, but Regina knew she needed to fight, even if it was just for tonight.

Emma pressed her against the wall further, using brute strength to her advantage. “If only you knew what I-“

“Mom.”

At that moment, time frozen in Regina’s eyes. One minute she saw fierce, piercing green eyes staring at her with extreme loathing, and the next was that of her greatest fear. Henry stood a few feet away from Emma, sheer terror in his eyes as he stared into Regina’s brown orbs. The mayor felt her heart stop beating in her chest momentarily before picking up to a steady thumping. Scarlet lips parted slowly, bottom lip quivering. Regina hadn’t meant for Henry to witness this. He didn’t need to see how sick his mothers were, how sick they are.

The sheriff took a step away from Regina, keeping her back towards their son, allowing Regina space to breathe, which the brunette took as an opportune time to have Henry get ready for bed. “Please go upstairs, sweetheart,” Regina whispered in an eerily calm voice despite her dry throat and watery eyes. Beginning to protest, Henry’s voice was cut off before it could be heard, the older woman’s voice more firm this time. “Do not make me repeat myself, young man.”

Those simple words sent Henry straight to his bedroom and, despite the situation, Regina was relieved. Henry didn’t need to see anymore than what he already had.

With what should have been a sigh of relief, Regina’s body went rigid once again, but, this time without the help of a certain blonde. Now that Henry was upstairs, there is no telling what Emma would do, or what she wouldn’t do. Brown eyes quickly locked with green, staring for what felt like hours before releasing, Emma turning on her heels and grabbing a coat.

Regina watched in utter silence, but as soon as a pale hand turned the doorknob, she spoke up.” If you walk out that door, don't come home tonight.”

The only thing that came as a response was a slammed door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas! Have fun, and be safe!


	6. Chapter Six:

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm bad at summaries, so read it and find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for my extended league of absence! I didn't necessarily mean to be away for so long, but I hope you aren't too upset with me, since I do have an update for you. I'm in the process of writing further chapters, which means I will hopefully update more frequently. So, enjoy the update, and feedback is always welcomed.
> 
> Oh, and I don't think there are any warnings, other than the usually things, just in case.
> 
> And one question, does the whole Tinkerbelle and Regina coupling really exist, because that would be very helpful. Thank you. (Oops, possible spoiler alert. Sorry, not sorry.)

"Mom!"

Regina rushed down the stairs after hearing Henry's calling. She was in the midst of changing her blouse when he yelled for her. It wasn't the fact that he called her name, but it did strike her as odd that not thirty seconds ago did he say he was leaving for school.

Upon reaching the doorway, Regina was about to comment until she noticed the blonde lazily lying on her front porch. Emma seemed to be asleep, or passed out drunk from her late night escapades. Regina did stick to her words the night prior. Emma knocked on the door at roughly three in the morning, demanding with slurred speech to be let inside. After receiving no answer, she dialed the mayor'a number countless times. It came to the point where Regina had to turn off her cellphone in order to go back to sleep. Shortly after doing that, all noises ceased. She didn't fall back asleep immediately though, her mind was racing about Emma. Though the blonde didn't deserve to be fretted over, the brunette woman couldn't help it. Despite how careless and horrid the blonde could be, Regina still loved her with every fiber in her body.

"Oh, Emma," Regina sighed heavily, taking a step out on the porch. "I'll take care of your mother," she spoke to Henry, still staring at the blonde laying on the marble, "now get to school before you're late."

Obviously reluctant, Henry kissed his brunette mother's cheek and stepped around his other mother, rushing to his friend's car. Regina waved goodbye. Once he was out of sight, the mayor squatted down beside the younger woman and touched her leather clad shoulder, shaking her gently.

"Emma, wake up."

Her voice was exasperated, but laced with concern and tenderness. As much of a pain as the blonde was, and even if she deserved to be chastised beyond words, Regina was still as soft and gentle as she always was: her motherly instincts taking control.

The blonde stirred, but her emerald eyes remained loosely shut, her breathing light and airy. With yet another sigh, Regina shook the woman harder, earning a grunt in response. The former queen felt as if she was talking care of a child, constantly checking up on Emma and making sure she was sober enough to go to work. The situation was pathetic, at least on Regina's part. She lowered herself substantially because of Emma, but she refused to give up on her. Regina knew where Emma was, and instead of ripping out hearts and destroying Snow White's happiness, Emma was drinking, but the question remained, who was Emma seeking revenge on.

"Emma, you need to get off of the porch." The mayor said sternly as she watched the blonde come to comprehension.

"R'gina?"

Regina knew instantly that Emma was still drunk. She shook her head in disbelief and helped the blonde up, practically dragging the drunken woman into the house and up the stairs. Emma was practically a deadweight for Regina, but she was determined, and that determination paid off as she took the last step and glanced down the hallway. Her bedroom was closer than Emma's was, and since Regina would be late if she lingered much longer, she brought the blonde to their room and laid her down in bed. Emma immediately fell back asleep and, even though she couldn't hear, Regina promised to check in on her and left the room with a weak "I love you".

She hurried to her office and began working, but her mind was overwhelmed with feelings. Regina was furious and irritated, but she also felt like she needed to care for Emma, had to have compassion for the woman solely based on the fact that she was her wife. The mayor loved Emma with everything she had, but her mind was beginning to shadow her heart, reminding her of the private promises she had made to never let someone treat her in a manner similar to how her mother did, and that was exactly how the blonde was becoming, though the circumstances weren't similar. Emma was her wife, Regina reminded herself. She loved her, but was her love enough to persuade her to stay in such a compromising situation?

And Henry. He had seen his birth mother drunk before, especially in the past year, but never had he witnessed such a primal side of Emma, so forceful and brutish. Regina's son had seemed genuinely afraid for her safety, almost willing to disobey his mother's demands for him to go upstairs. Perhaps if he had stayed, the situation would have ended differently. Emma might just have stayed home, deciding not to drink, but rather talk to Regina about whatever it was that she had done.

Setting down her pen, Regina rubbed at her temples before pulling out her phone and sending Emma a message, questioning how she was feeling, if she was even awake yet. Regina needed to check up on her wife, despite everything. She still felt the need to care for the woman, even if it was not returned. Almost instantly Regina received a response.

'Im alive but its not like u care anyhow.'

As unprofessionally as possible, Regina crossed her arms on her desk and buried her head between the space. She wanted to make things better between her and Emma, but she was failing miserably and running out of options. Her last resort, which was about to fall into action, would be therapy.

"Madame mayor!" The intercom rang, "Tinkerbelle is here to see you. Should I let her in?"

Regina popped her head up, her mood brightening a bit at the arrival of one of her...friends. They had developed a friendship rather quickly, especially in Regina's standards. She enjoyed the company of the sassy, petite blonde. They had done lunch numerous times, had drinks together, and even invited Emma to come along, but she continuously denied. Nonetheless, Tinkerbelle's presence was a perfect distraction, especially from the "Emma situation".

"Yes, please Andrew," the mayor replied, a smile playing on her lips.

The blonde fairy walked through the door instantly, clad in her usual apparel. A grin was present on her pale lips, which immediately reminded Regina of Emma, but she pushed the thought out of her mind and focused on her distraction, if that oxymoron made any sense whatsoever.

\--------chapter break---------

Upon returning home, Henry was seated at the dining table working on homework and Emma was nowhere to be found. Henry had told Regina that she was gone when he got home and, for some reason, it didn't surprise the raven haired woman whatsoever. She guessed Emma had gone back out to drink after her hangover had subsided enough, but she had hoped she was wrong, that the blonde was only out grocery shopping or, heaven forbid, doing her job as Sheriff. Wishful thinking, of course.

So she began cooking dinner for her and Henry and while she cooked, she poured herself a glass of Syrah. Regina savored the aroma as she swirled her glass before taking a hearty sip. Her tastebuds were attacked by flavors of blackcurrant and black pepper spices. With a low moan, Regina took yet another drink, finishing off her first glass.

She poured herself another, and then yet another. This occurred until the mayor had decided she had had enough, roughly six to seven glasses, leaving her with a light buzz and slightly impaired inhibitions. By that time though, Henry had gone up to bed and Regina was left alone with her thoughts. The silence was deafening, almost taunting the older woman. She figured it was a side affect of the wine and decided it was time for her to go to bed: she did have a job to do in the morning.

With a slip in her step, Regina slinked her way up the stairs and into her room, not bothering to shut the door behind her. She didn't expect Emma to come home anyhow, so there was no point. Regina began undressing, fumbling over her buttons as a cause of her intoxication. Her frustration grew to the point where the former queen gave up with a fuss and vanished her clothing away. Of course she still kept her promise to Henry about not using magic, but what he didn't know necessarily wouldn't kill him, especially when it regarded something minuscule such as removing clothing. At a second flick of her wrist, a satin negligee covered her body, and with that, Regina was settled and ready for bed. She jumped into the bed giddily, but as soon as her body became comfortable under the linen sheets and soft duvet, Regina began to shut down, falling into a beautiful sleep.

Sometime during the night, something, or someone, had woken Regina up. The sound of a door opening and closing echoed in her ears, accompanied by the pitter patter of clumsy footsteps on the floor. Regina knew who it was immediately, but didn't bother moving, hoping the blonde would just pass her room and go to the guest room. To Regina’s dismay, Emma practically stomped into her room and threw herself into the bed, almost slamming against Regina’s unmoving body.

Regina was about to say something, but before she could get the words out, the sheriff did. “Mm saw-ree gee-na,” she slurred, emphasis in her speech.

“Go to sleep, Emma,” the former queen responded, pulling the sheets closer to her body. God, how she wanted to be engulfed in Emma’s arms, to feel the savior’s breath on her neck, but she couldn't. Despite the fact that Emma was her wife, this wasn't the woman Regina fell in love with.

Regina got herself into a comfortable position and relaxed her body, slowly slipping back into her blissful sleep. That was until something grabbed at her breast and squeezed. She swatted at it, but stayed silent as the appendage retreated. Not even a second after that the wandering hand had moved to her bottom, massaging one side. Usually the mayor would revel in the feeling, but Emma needed to understand that just because she wanted to be frisky and have sex didn't mean that Regina did. Hitting the hand away, the battle continued for at least another minute, Regina smacking Emma every time her hand groped her. Eventually though, Regina grew tired of the antics and quite impatient with the blonde sheriff.

“Emma, enough! Go sleep in your own room if you can not show a little self control and restrain from groping me.” The former queen commanded sternly, her voice leaving no room for question.

The blonde slithered her way out of the covers, grumbling as she marched out of the bedroom with the finality of a door slam. Regina sighed heavily, bringing her hands out from under the sheets and massaging her face gently. Something needed to be done, but what was the question.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's no summary. I hate summaries, possibly because I can't manage to write one without giving away my secrets.

Regina slammed her phone down onto her desk with a huff. That was the fourth call regarding Emma's absence in the sheriff's station. She was scheduled today, Regina knew that, but apparently wasn't in the office nor answering her cellphone. Each person that couldn't get ahold of the blonde decided it best to disturb Regina while she was working. Of course the mayor was the next best to alert that Pongo was loose or that Leroy was drunk and causing a ruckus, but she couldn't just run out and do these tasks as well as her own job: that's why she had a sheriff, but apparently Regina needed to hire someone else because Emma just wasn't doing her job. The mayor had a feeling it was due to Emma's alcohol consumption, whether she was too impaired to realize that she was due to work, or the fact that she didn't care.

Just as Regina was about to continue her paperwork, her phone rang again, and to her utmost astonishment, it was yet another citizen, but this report was different than the others. It was regarding Emma, the beloved sheriff and savior. Apparently she was spotted at the Rabbit Hole, seated beside Leroy, and downing shot after shot accompanied by numerous bottles of cheap beer. Regina was polite with the citizen, thanking them for the information and dismissing their call in the best political manner possible while inside she was absolutely livid. In all honesty, she could scorch her wife knowing she wasn't doing her job, wasting tax payer money by drinking on duty. Emma was acting like an adolescent, doing everything just to spite the mayor, and it was working.

The dark haired woman stood from her desk and stormed out of her office abruptly, abandoning her office duties in order to play parent to a grown woman. She informed her secretary that she was leaving for the day, and when the question of why arrived, Regina snorted and sneered "I have a sheriff to babysit".

On the ride to the Rabbit Hole, Regina took part in breathing exercises, looking as if she were partaking in Lamaze breathing techniques. She needed to do something to lower her blood pressure, and despite the fact that the mayor wanted to burn the sheriff to a crisp, she knew that breathing was the best option, even if it wasn't the most preferable. As soon as Regina was calm, she got out of her car and entered the bar. The pungent odor of cigars, sweat, and bad decisions lingered in the air, assaulting the former queen's flaring nostrils. She scrunched her nose and scanned the crowd, eyes moving until they sat on a blonde woman seated at the bar throwing back a shot.

With a distasteful grimace, Regina stomped over to Emma, moving gracefully past peasants. She absolutely despised the fact that Emma was here and that she was forced to babysit the drunken woman. The love she had for the blonde wasn't waning, but her patience was being stretched and Regina was close to her wits end. Firmly tapping the sheriff's shoulder, the mayor snatched the beer from Emma's hands as she turned around. Regina threw it to the ground, the glass shattering and instantly grabbing the blonde's attention.

"What the hell!" Emma slurred, standing from the barstool on obviously unsteady legs. "I was drinking that!"

"Exactly, you WERE drinking it, and now you're not. Now, you're going to come home with me, since you're obviously too intoxicated to drive home without causing an accident."

Emma stuck her tongue out childishly and whined. "You're not the boss of me."

The dark haired woman grabbed the sheriff's wrist and pulled her away swiftly. "I'm your wife, the mayor, and the woman that signs your paycheck, therefore I am you boss."

All protests escaped Emma's lips as she must have known that Regina was right. No matter what, Regina truly was Emma's boss, even if that was a factor in their relationship problems.

Yet again dealing with her second child, Regina dragged Emma out of the tavern and to her car. They got in the vehicle in silence, Emma hopefully out of shame and Regina due to frustration. She was just about to keep her mouth shut, but her motherly instinct got the best of her and she began a whole spiel about Emma's negligence. 

"What were you thinking, drinking on duty? How can you be so irresponsible? If I didn't know any better, I'd think you wanted me to have you replaced. Is that what you want, Emma, because that's what's going to happen. I'll accidentally leak out the information that you're becoming as useless as the town drunk, which isn't much news to anyone lately, and you'll be replaced faster than you can say 'fired'."

The woman continued to rant and rave, only stopping when she glanced over to see that Emma had fallen asleep, drool running down the corner of her lips. Up close Regina was able to see how much of a mess Emma was. Her blonde hair was tangled and unkept, greasy beyond belief. The woman had a foul odor to her, and not just that of a truck stop. She smelled as if she hadn't showered in weeks, and the cologne she had on wasn't masking any of the smell. 

"What happened to you, Emma?" Regina asked rhetorically, knowing the woman wasn't capable, nor would she want, to give an answer.

\------chapter break------

They got home rather fast, and Regina was impartial to say the least. She had dragged Emma upstairs into the guest room and laid her down before she went to her study and dialed David's number. She asked him to fill in for Emma tonight, claiming the woman wasn't feeling well, but apparently Charming could detect the lie and pressed on for the truth. The mayor eventually relented and admitted that Emma was hungover.

"She was drinking on a Wednesday? What's the occasion?"

Regina snorted crisply, "There's no occasion, Emma's always drinking. She says that she needs to be drunk in order to, and I quote, "deal with my royal ass"."

"How long has this been going on?" Charming questioned, his tone giving away the frown that had to be growing on his lips.

"I lost count," Regina admitted, rubbing her temples with her fingers. "At least six months."

"Do you know why?"

"No."

"Want me to talk to her?"

The mayor's hopes rose instantly. That was it! If Emma would open up to David, maybe they could fix this mess of a relationship before it was too late. "Would you?" Regina questioned, biting her bottom lip. "She won't talk to me, and I don't know what to do anymore."

Of course it was hard for Regina to admit that she needed help, but she was close to her wits end and she wasn't sure what she should do anymore. Her love of the blonde was beginning to not be enough.

"Sure, no problem Regina. I'll talk to her tomorrow when she comes down for her shift."

"Thank you," she responded, truly grateful for the man. He reminded her of her own father, and it was beautiful to know she could count of him.

Not long after that they hung up and Emma had traveled downstairs, disrupting Regina's work yet again. Surely it was another apology, and the mayor was sure she wouldn't give in this time, she couldn't.

"Regina?" The blonde's voice called, pitifully demanding her attention.

Rolling her eyes, Regina reminded herself to keep her resolve strong. "What do you need, Emma?"

"I'm hungry."

Standing up, Regina sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "I'm not cooking tonight. Make yourself a sandwich or eat leftovers." With that, the woman walked out of the room and headed to her bedroom. It was, most likely, close to seven, and Henry would be getting out of practice soon, but Regina didn't need to get him tonight. He had called while she was at work, asking if he could stay with a friend. Normally Regina would deny the request on a school night, but she felt bad for what he was going through. This wasn't an ideal situation, so she allowed him the freedom, but reminding Henry that this was a privilege, not a right.

Readying herself for bed, despite the time, Regina took a scolding shower and slipped on a nightgown. She scurried under her covers and breathed in the delightful scent of her clean sheets. Soon the mayor was slipping into sleep, but movement in the bed alerted her that she was not alone. There was only one other person with enough audacity to slide into bed with the evil queen, and that was Emma.

"Mm, R'gina," the blonde slurred, either still buzzed or had a hangover and drank even more.

Rolling her eyes, the former queen pulled the duvet to her chin and held her eyes shut, refusing to open them. This was successful for a short time until a frisky hand delved beneath the blankets and gripped at her lower lips through her pajamas.

She smacked the hand instantly and sat up, physically pushing her wife out of the bed. "Go to your own bed, Emma, we're not doing this again."

With a grunt, Emma stood and sulked out of the room while Regina watched. She didn't feel bad for acting the way she did. Emma deserved it, but it didn't stop her from wishing the blonde wasn't acting this way


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for my absence, yet again. Everything has been hectic so far, classes are overwhelming, and between eating, sleeping, practicing, and school, I don't have much time, but I WILL do my best to update more frequently. That's not a promise, but I will try.

Rubbing at her temples, Regina was trying to process everything David had told her. The man had spoken to Emma the day before, subtly calling her out on her drinking. She said that she didn't have a problem, that she could stop any time she wanted. It, quote, "took the edge off of her stressful life", then the blonde apparently promised to not drink before or on duty, which seemed to have convinced David enough to mention it, but Regina knew better. The mayor knew Emma was manipulating her father because Regina was queen of the act! There hasn't been a time when Regina wasn't manipulating, asides from after the curse breaking and Henry's desire for her to change.

"Maybe you two should call Archie, get some therapy?" Charming suggested, taking a sip of coffee.

Regina snorted. Emma would never agree to such a thing: it was preposterous. "Remind me to never ask for your advice," the woman muttered, rolling her copper eyes.

"I'm serious!" he exclaimed, "Maybe Archie can talk to Emma, see what's on her mind, maybe give you a reason why she's drinking? You never know Regina."

"I already know what the problem is, David. I'm Emma's problem."

The truth stung Regina like salt on an open wound. It was different when she kept it to herself, the words playing repeatedly in her head, that way Regina could blame overthinking. But now, now that she's admitted it into the open, the situation seemed more real, in a manner of speaking.

"No, don't say that!" The man exclaimed, reaching over the table to place his hand on Regina's. "Emma loves you, Regina, you're her wife."

The dark haired woman shook her head slowly, a sob threatening to escape her throat. "Loved. Emma loved me, she doesn't anymore."

Fearing a lack of control over her emotions, Regina stood from the booth before Charming could respond. She knew he meant well, and she appreciated that, but she couldn't have this conversation, especially in the middle of Granny's. Regina walked away after murmuring "Goodbye Charming" and rushed to her car.

Just as Regina was about to head home, she remembered Henry had a game tonight and was sure Emma wouldn't be there to support him. The blonde was probably too drunk to function, and that only meant that Regina would not have company at her son's game. While that thought didn't bother the former queen, it was slightly upsetting that Emma would, most likely, miss the last of Henry's games, especially since he was doing so well this season due to his summer away at soccer camp.

Speeding away from the dinner, Regina made it to the field just in time. The game had just started as indicated by the scoreboard, so the woman held herself close with her jacket and sat on in the stands with the other soccer moms. She made small talk with each of them, usually concerning how their sons were playing or what they'll do after the season ends. Eventually Regina just watched the game in silence, at least until one of the boys, number twelve, tripped Henry as he advanced towards the goal with the ball. Standing, Regina yelled out, along with all the other parents, for a foul against the kid, but the referee did nothing. The incompetent man just stood there, watching the game, whistle still around his neck.

Sitting back down with a huff, Regina crossed her arms on her chest and continued to watch, not making a sound when number twelve made a goal. The boy ran across the field, obviously thinking he was some hot shot after illegally tripping Henry without consequence, then scoring a goal. Not long after, another boy, Andrew perhaps, had the ball, dribbling it towards the goal in the same manner that Henry had. Henry was a few feet in front of him, and with a flick pass, Henry gained possession of the ball and chipped it into the goal, straight between the crossbar of the goal and the keeper's head. Screaming with joy over her little forward, Regina cheered with the other mothers, nothing but pride resonating from her.

Brown eyes narrowed, time passed rather quickly as Regina watched. The score was tied 2-2 and it was the 87th minute in the second half. Henry's team had possession of the ball and was advancing rather quickly downfield. Luke Thompson had the ball and was passing it between Henry and Andrew skillfully, almost in a perfectly timed pattern. The three boys were approaching the goal, but out of nowhere, number twelve appeared and kicked Henry just as he passed the ball to Andrew. Henry fell to the grass, pulling his leg to his chest as his face contorted in pain. The referee blew his whistle to stop the game just as Regina was running down the bleachers and onto the field.

"Ma'am, you need to go sit down," the ref advised her, pointing back to the bleachers.

"That's my son!" She growled in response, heart racing in her chest. "And where the hell is that red card? Number twelve carelessly hacked Henry, twice now, along with other boys!"

"Ma'am, go sit down," the man repeated, voice stern, but Regina wasn't having it.

Pointing at twelve as he smirked over at Henry from where he was still lying on the ground, the queen unleashed some of her anger at his expense. "Give that little prick a red card or so help me--!"

Hands were instantly, yet softly placed on her forearms, causing the woman to stop mid-rant. "Shh, Regina, just let it go," one of the moms said, gently tugging her away to the sidelines. To the other mothers, she was just Regina. She wasn't the mayor, nor was she the queen. She was one of them, and it was reassuring to say the least.

Despite her annoyance, Regina conceded and walked back, eyes stuck on her son as he slowly stood, slightly wobbling on his right leg. Both boys continued to play the last minutes, but neither came out as victors. The game ended with the previous tie and numerous uncalled penalties. Once the boys were able to leave, Regina approached Henry, who was talking with a group of his friends. She ruffled his sweaty mat of hair, then spiked it up. If it were anybody else, Regina would surely keep her hands out of their sweaty hair, but this was her son.

"You did well, sweetheart," the former queen commented, a proud smile on her face as she glanced at her boy, then the rest. "You all did fantastic despite the village idiot of referees."

This earned a light chuckle from all the adolescents, and it brightened Regina's mood to know she was somewhat considered "the cool parent", at least during Henry's soccer season.

"Hey mom, there's a team feed at Luke's place, and then some of the guys are staying over. Can I go?"

The dark haired woman stared at her son for a moment, taking in the sight of his dark brown eyes begging and his lower lip slightly pursed out pleadingly. That look got Henry out of almost every punishment he had received, and he knew just how powerful "the look" was.

"You have school," she said simply.

"Tomorrow's Saturday."

Mentally correcting herself, Regina leaned down and kissed her son's forehead. "You may, but be home before dinner. I am making lasagna and an apple pie tomorrow."

Henry wiped the invisible kiss mark from his forehead and stared up at the mayor with a grimace. "Mom!" He whined under his breath, low enough for only his mother to hear.

"Be good, and have fun, dear," Regina chuckled.

"I can't do both."

"You can," the woman smirked as she turned around, "and you will."

With that, Regina walked back to her Mercedes, a smile on her lips as she thought of what she could do, and what she needed to do. If she were to be honest, she could work for another hour or so in order to hit the ground running tomorrow. If Regina did that, then she would only had a couple meetings to attend regarding tax appropriations, possible investments, etcetera. It seemed like a no brainer; Regina would go back to work for an hour or so and then go home and fix herself a Caesar salad. It would be a nice end to an overall stressful day.

When the mayor returned to her office, she noticed all the lights were off, minus the one directly in her office. Confusion struck Regina as she remembered that whenever her secretary leaves, they would turn all the lights out unless otherwise stated. Regina never said she'd be back later, and that only meant one thing: someone was in her office.

Walking into the mayoral office slowly, the woman pulled out her phone and dialed Emma's number as a ball of magic appeared in the palm of her other hand. The dial tone rang continually, only to be interrupted by the voicemail recording. Regina sighed as she put the item away and approached her office door. Through the glass, she could vaguely visualize the outline of a person, but they were still, standing as if they were waiting for the mayor to appear. Crackling magic still in her hand, Regina grabbed the doorknob and quickly thrust the door open, shocked to reveal her wife casually leaning against the edge of her desk. The collection of magic dissipated in the mayor's hand as she breathed out in relief. Here she thought someone had broken into her office and had planned on assassinating her only to find her wife, who couldn't answer her phone. Plus, Regina hadn't even seen the yellow death trap in front of the office. Was it even there? She would have noticed such a thing, so perhaps the blonde had walked here in the chilly weather.

"God Emma, you frightened me," Regina muttered as she entered, closing the door behind her. "Here I thought someone had broken in. I even called you, but you didn't answer."

"My phone's at the station."

The reply was simple, but Emma's tone was tense and sharp. She seemed to be angry about something, and that only caused Regina to become cautious of her wife, knowing full and well what the woman was capable of.

Nodding her head, the former queen paced around the room, moving between filing cabinets but avoiding the blonde's gaze and close proximity to her wife. She felt green eyes on her, boring into her back like daggers, but she couldn't face them. She couldn't look into the eyes that loathed her entire existence. Even as a slight sado-masochist, Regina wouldn't allow herself such torture. There was a defining line between her limits, and to witness the hatred burning in Emma's eyes wouldn't be jumping over the line; it'd be blatantly performing an entire salsa dance over it.

"Regina," the blonde called, interrupting the woman as she searched through one filing cabinet, flipping between the color coded labels.

Not looking up, the former queen gave a "Hmm" of response, keeping her eyes on the files. She was beginning to metaphorically sweat bullets. Her vision was slightly blurry while she stared, but she was determined to keep her gaze down. She learned never to provoke an unpredictable, wild animal, and that was exactly what Emma was.

Regina felt hands on her hips, gently rubbing circles on the bone. Bitting her bottom lip to prevent the sigh that threatened to escape, the mayor brought her hands overtop of Emma's, stuck somewhere between encouraging and removing the appendages because, let's be honest, Regina hadn't been with Emma in a while, fighting or no fighting. Somehow they always managed to have sex regularly, but since the sheriff had been drinking and the mayor didn't want to deal with her wife with lowered inhibitions, they had been celibate, and it seemed to be the cause of Regina's mixed feelings as Emma's hands traveled to her backside and squeezed. One minute Regina wanted to push Emma away, tell her how disgusted she is with everything, and the next the mayor wanted to push the sheriff into the nearest wall and ravage her until she was so utterly spent that Regina would have her begging.

Just as soon as Emma's hands traveled up the mayor's thighs, something in Regina snapped. She pushed the blonde away from her forcefully, then straightened herself out, not daring to meet those emerald eyes that were no doubt glowing with pure resentment towards her.

"What the hell!" The sheriff exclaimed, storming back over to Regina.

"Go home, Emma," the dark haired woman whispered, the pleasure she was feeling instantly turning into disgust.

"No! We're doing this. We're married, Regina, whether you like it or not."

The sheriff's hands were once again roaming the raven haired woman's body, but before they could reach their goal, Regina closed her eyes . When she opened them, she took in the familiar scenery of her home study. She took a breath of fresh air, running her fingers through thick tresses of black. David's words were running wild in her brain, repeating over and over like a tape recording. Regina pulled out her phone and resorted to her one of her final options.

"Hello?"

Opening her mouth, nothing came out. Regina's voice would not vocalize what she wanted to say; what she needed to say.

"Hello? Who is this?"

"Hello," her voice came out, cracking under itself.

"Madame Mayor! Is there something I can help you with?"

This was it, the moment of truth.

"I'd like to schedule an appointment for Emma and I."


	9. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No summary, yet again, but there are mentions of past rape, as well as rape closer to the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's many errors, I'm sure of it. I just wanted to say that I got a little emotional writing this update, so it may not be wonderfully written closer to the end. That's about it, so I suppose enjoy this and feedback is always welcome.

"Aright Regina," Archie said calmly, leaning back in his chair as he focused on the dark haired woman. "I think we should start with when all this started. Why do you believe Emma has become so distant?"

That was how Regina and Archie's first session began, and after three weeks of biweekly therapy, they were still grasping at straws, especially since one person was missing from the equation. Naturally, at couple's therapy, the couple in question would be present, but Regina was constantly alone. Emma had refused to go to the first session, and refused every future session, claiming they didn't need therapy. They were "just fine".

Of course Regina didn't argue with the woman, but she still persisted with therapy, trying to bring up the topic as casually and as frequently as possible when she was around her wife. This didn't always turn out well: Emma would usually yell and storm out of the house, making her way to The Rabbit Hole. She was still constantly inebriated, still late for her job, and was becoming the talk of the town. Even Ruby Lucas had commented about Emma's behavior to the mayor, but Regina couldn't do much of anything. So she sat back, silently listening to the town gossip of the sheriff whose blood alcohol level was higher than the town drunk's. 

While it was embarrassing, Regina was beginning to become more angry, not due to the fact, but because Emma just sat there and practically encouraged it. She had been on the receiving end of gossip before, and while she hadn't cared very much, especially when she was still a queen, she had accepted it. Regina knew full and well she has faults, but the thing was, the blonde knew she had her own faults as well, but Emma wasn't accepting it. The sheriff was living in her own world, thinking nothing of the fact that she was addicted to alcohol, but that was Regina's fault, at least in Emma's mind it was. Everything that was wrong in the world was caused by the mayor, the blonde had to be sure of it. And that's what made Regina tick. Emma wasn't accepting her faults, not owning her mistakes. Even as Queen Regina admitted she was a ruthless bitch, but the sheriff wasn't. The blonde was as pure as her darling mother Snow White, and it was sickening.

But, Regina had no quarrel with Snow, at least not any longer. They had settled everything, and while there was an ounce or two of tension left, they were on good terms, and that somehow pleased Regina.

Taking a sip of her coffee, the mayor comfortably her feet up on the sofa in Archie's office, Pongo's muzzle gently laying on top of her bare feet, keeping them warm. This was their ritual. Archie and Regina would discuss what had happened so far, what occurred in the past, and any good memories that Regina would want to share. Of course there were many: her and Emma's wedding night, their first date, the numerous days they woke up to Henry and breakfast in bed, but it seemed almost that of a dream to the mayor now. She could hardly remember a time where they were truly happy, it was all masked by the destruction and chaos that had claimed their life. 

"Tell me, Regina," Archie said calmly, snapping Regina away from her inward reflection. "Why did you marry Emma?"

As a natural defense mechanism, though there was nothing to fear, Regina snorted. "Because she asked me."

"Regina," the man chastised tenderly.

"Fine," she sighed, bringing her knees to her chest, pressing the heels of her feet into the sofa. "I married Emma because...because I loved her."

"Loved?" he said, confusion in his tone. "As in past tense?"

"Yes and no," the woman murmured, pressing her lips into a line as she glanced at her hands, watching as they trembled slightly. "I still love her, but- I- she's not...the same anymore. She's not the woman I married."

"And that's because of her alcohol abuse?"

"How long did it take you to figure that out?" Regina snapped, glaring at the bug.

Archie leaned back in his chair, setting his notepad on the desk beside him. "I can't help you if you don't help me, Regina. I understand that you're hurt-"

"No," she said, shaking her head, "I'm not some victim, bug. I'm livid."

"I'm sorry," he said softly, "and I understa-"

Regina shot up from her seat, jutting her index finger at the peasant in front of her. "Don't you dare say that you understand! You don't understand any of this, unless you can personally say that your wife hates you. That your wife is hurting you, slowly poisoning herself, and by God, hurting your son by her actions, and yet she doesn't seem care about anything other than what she's drinking next. So no, you do not deserve the right to say that you understand what I'm going through."

As she finished her emotional outburst, Regina failed to notice the fact that she had began crying until Archie had handed her a box of tissues. With no energy left, no willpower, Regina sat back down, resuming her previous position as Pongo relocated from the opposite side of the room to the open seat on the sofa, nuzzling his muzzle into Regina's body: a silent gesture.

"Do you feel any better?" The man asked out of the blue, disrupting the silence that has manifested after the mayor's outburst.

Did she? Regina looked down at her hands, noticing they were no longer trembling, but it was as if they had lost all their energy just as the dark haired woman had. She was beginning to feel like a used battery, but it was a good feeling. The only thing left was a welcomed emptiness that soothed every ache and pain in the woman's body, similarly so to having no heart: the feelings running through her body dimmed to the lowest setting.

"I think I do," the former queen admitted, reaching down to pet Pongo on the top of his head.

Archie sat straight up, and, with a wide grin, grabbed his notepad, directing his attention back onto the woman. "Now, what should we begin with today?"

After her session, Regina returned home to find Henry at the dining room table finishing his homework, and Emma on the couch, bottle of beer in her hand while at least a dozen empty bottles lined the coffee table. A hockey game was blaring through the television speakers, and Regina tried her best to ignore it as she began cooking dinner, but her resolve failed as she stormed into the livingroom and grabbed the remote from the blonde's hand. She turned it down to a reasonable level and left the room, completely ignoring the protests of a drunken Savior.

They ate dinner in silence that night, not even Henry daring to disrupt the peace, if it even could be categorized as such. After the family finished, Emma went wherever, Henry left to a friend's house, and Regina went to the kitchen to clean the dishes. Halfway through she was interrupted, Emma's hands on her shoulders, gently massaging her muscles. While it was a nice gesture, Regina was on guard.

"Hey," Emma murmured, voice delicate, her breath tickling the back of the older woman's neck, sending tremors down Regina's spine. "I have a surprise for you."

The mayor turned around, still in the blonde's grasp, eyes wide with confusion. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, forehead creasing as she stared. "You do?" She stuttered, genuinely astonished, and slightly nervous.

"Of course," the sheriff chuckled, her laugh echoing off the walls and resonating in Regina's ears like a melody. 

Regina watched as the blonde reached into her back pocket and pulled out a small, square box. Silver designs embroidered the top while a darker silver covered the sides and bottom. Emma handed the mayor the box, and, as sheepishly and gingerly as a teenage girl, the dark haired woman took the gift and opened it. She gasped aloud, the corners of her lips curling into a smile as she picked up the silver bracelet. Slim strands of silver were woven together, almost braided, while a gem as black as night was positioned in the center of the bracelet.

Giddy, Regina surged forward and pressed her lips into Emma's bracelet in her hands. She pulled away with a wide grin, handing the blonde the piece of jewelry and extending her wrist. The blonde followed the silent plea, a smile on her lips as she did so. 

Once the silver was on Regina's wrist, she glared at it in the light, flicking and rotating her wrist, but then something went wrong. It started in her hand, pins and needles traveling up her arm and through her whole body. She quivered uncharacteristically before glancing up at Emma.

"What's happening?" The mayor exclaimed, grasping at the latch of the bracelet and attempting to remove it, but failing.

Emma hushed her, placing her hands on the woman's hips and pressing Regina into the counter. The blonde's lips were soon on the older woman's neck, biting and sucking feverishly.

Using her only resort, Regina tried conjuring up something, anything to get Emma away, but nothing came. She couldn't tap into her magic and--.

"Emma!" The dark haired woman shrieked, desperately trying to push the blonde away. "What did you do?"

The woman in question took Regina's hands in her own and pinned them to the counter, licking her lips in the process. "I just thought I'd get you something nice, dear."  
"Where did you get this?"

"Gold," Emma said simply, continuing to attack the tanned woman's neck.

Regina desperately tried to get away from her, tried squirming and kicking, but nothing seemed to work. Emma was too strong, deceitful yet strong. But, even if the mayor couldn't get herself out of this, she needed to struggle. This wouldn't become a repeat of the past. Emma would not be Leopold, Regina wouldn't allow it. She would fight, that was until the blonde pulled her to the floor, straddling her waist.

"Please," the older woman pleaded, wiggling her wrists despite the fact they were above her head. "Please Emma."

"Shush, it's alright," the sheriff taunted, one hand slipping between their bodies and into Regina's pants. "Everything's alright."

And that's when Regina gave up. Her body went limp and all struggling ceased. It was almost as if the woman had spiritually left her body as it became numb to her, just as it had done all those years ago when she was just a young girl.  
\-------------  
Emma left not long afterwards, bracelet in hand, completely pleased with herself but obvious craving something else to curb her hunger and Regina was left to pick up the pieces. She cleaned herself up, dressing in her usual façade as she finished the dishes. After each plate had been put away properly, Regina walked out of the house and approached her apple tree.

With all the elegance and regality of a queen, the woman kneeled down and placed a hand over her chest. Slowly, every so slowly, she pushed her fingers into her chest, gasping at the intrusion. Her fingers brushed past her ribcage before landing on her heart on grasping it.

Just as she entered her chest, she so repeated her actions as she pulled out, heart in hand. The steady thumping echoed in Regina's ears, and it was only then that her hand began to quake. She looked down at her palm, feeling the beating of her black heart in a shaking hand.

Her mind screamed, telling Regina how wrong this was. She could deal with it, her head reminded, but the woman knew she couldn't. Regina didn't have the heart, no pun intended, to deal with everything any longer. And, just as she buried her heart into the ground, everything she was feeling dissipated.

The woman was greeted with a blissful numbness. Her nerves were silenced, and every emotion that plagued her body was dimmed. Regina was at peace, and she was finally able to take a breath, but when she did, her throat almost collapsed upon itself. That's when she realized she had been crying the entire time, but that did not worry the mayor. Nothing did, and nothing would, as long as her heart remained buried beneath her precious tree.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're nearing the climax of the story, as you can probably tell, and I can't express how wonderfully you all are. This was technically my first post on this site, and first fanfic in general, but you all are so wonderful for sticking around with me.
> 
> Ps. No trigger warnings in this chapter (which is surprising), and the flashback is in italics.
> 
> Oh, and hey, two updates rather consecutively, even if it is a tad shorter (at least that's what I think). That's a new record.

Time passed quickly and before Regina knew it, a month had gone by. Everything changed so rapidly in the short amount of time, yet some things stayed the same. Emma continued to drown in bottles of alcohol, Regina continued with her mayoral duties with hardly any human feelings, and Henry grew distant after his soccer season ended. He would come home from school around dinner time, eat, and then leave to a friend's house. The older mother and son hardly spoke to each other, but whenever they did, Henry would comment on how Emma was always out drinking and Regina was acting different. One conversation in particular worried the former queen, she dreamed of it continuously and feared that Henry had caught on to the whole situation.

_"Hey mom," Henry called, knocking on the door to Regina's study._  
  
 _Lifting her head from her paperwork, the mayor slipped her glasses off and smiled at her son. "Come in!" Regina responded, and once her son stood by her side, she continued. "What do you need, darling?"_  
  
 _"Is mom alright? She's hasn't come home for three days."_  
  
 _The dark haired woman hoped he wouldn't notice, but then again, Emma wasn't just a stranger. She was his mother as well, and any child would notice the missing presence of his or her parent._  
  
 _Brushing a piece of hair behind her ear, Regina sighed and tried to put on her bravest face. "Emma's fine, she's just busy with work, I'm sure."_  
  
 _"But she's not!" Henry exclaimed, eyes wide with worry. "Her car's never at the station. When I go to school, her car's usually parked outside of the Rabbit Hole, and when I come home, it's in the same spot. It hasn't moved in days, mom."_  
  
 _The woman's heart crumbled once she heard the anxiety in her son's voice. Despite the lack of heart, Regina could feel everything, and even with the dimmed emotions she now possessed, this felt like a fresh wound. She couldn't stand knowing that the blonde sheriff was causing distress in Henry's life._

_"I know, sweetheart," Regina murmured, standing up and embracing her son, running her fingers through his hair._

_"What do we do?"_

_The former queen pressed her lips to his head tenderly. "We can't do anything. Emma doesn't want help."_

_He craned his neck upward, brown eye staring intently into matching eyes with worry. "Why?"_

_"Because she doesn't think she needs help."_

_Regina knew the truth would hurt Henry, but not knowing would hurt him worse._

_"But you still love her, right?" He questioned, eyebrows furrowing._

_"Of course," the older woman said gently, the corners of her lips falling into a frown. "Of course I still love your mother."_

_Henry slowly released himself from Regina's embrace, forehead creasing as he stared at her, eyes clouded with something that the woman could no identify. It was almost as if he was trying to search the depths of the mayor's soul, and that worried Regina._

_"Are you sure?" He asked softly._

_"Yes, I'm sure," the woman nodded with a smile. "Why would you question that?"_

_"Because your smile doesn't reach your eyes anymore."_

_Panic began setting into the woman. Internal conflict created a storm inside of her body. You couldn't see the lightening, but you could hear the echoes of the thunder._

_Taking a deep breath, Regina put her best smile on, trying her hardest to mean it. "I'm just stressed out, sweetheart, there's nothing to worry about."_

Awaking with a jolt, the mayor fell back to her bed with a sigh. The night was plaguing Regina's mind. Lying to her son made her feel dirty, slimy. He had done nothing wrong, and the least Regina should have been was honest with Henry. But she couldn't tell him the truth now. Henry would know she had lied to him, and then he would surely hate him. On top of that, he didn't need to know how damaged his mothers were. Regina couldn't burden him with the knowledge that one of his mothers was heartless and the other was an alcoholic. So, she kept her head high and tongue in her cheek when she saw him. Henry would not learn of his mother's addiction and he most certainly would not find out that Regina ripped her own heart out. No one would figure the second point out, it was too much of a risk.

Rubbing her eyes roughly, Regina rolled over and glanced at her clock, mentally noticing that she had to leave in a little short of an hour for her appointment with Archie. She had decided, since she had chosen to take the day off, that she would have an early session in order to grocery shop. They were running low on things other than peanut butter and strawberry jelly, which usually went into Henry's lunches if he asked Regina to make him lunch, but seeing as he hasn't since his mother's began fighting, they were in excess of sandwich products.

The former queen got ready rather leisurely and still was walking out of her front door in a pantsuit with ten minutes to spare before her appointment started. Her coat and scarf protected her from the harsh Maine breeze, but she could feel the stinging cold hit her cheeks with brute force. Regina got into her car quickly and drove through her small town before parking on the street besides Archie's office. Her nerves buzzed with anxiety, but the dark haired woman hadn't a clue why. She had been her before, numerous times in fact. She shouldn't be feeling nervous, especially when she was confiding in a bug without a social life. Archie didn't have anyone to share Regina's secrets with even if he wanted to.

That thought sent little reassurance as the mayor made her way inside, gently rapping at his office door. She was of course greeted by the man himself, dressed simply in jeans and a sweater. He looked the same as he always did, but Regina's attention was quickly drawn away from the smiling man and directed to a demanding dalmatian, too impatient for attention to wait until Regina got through the door. With a huff, the woman leaned down and scratched behind Pongo's ears with both hands, giving the dog his required affection before walking into the quaint office and setting her jacket and purse on the couch.

"How're you feeling today, Regina?," Archie began sitting down in his chair while Regina made herself comfortable on the sofa. She disregarded her heels and curled her feet underneath her body, settling into the seat before responding.

"I've been better," She murmured softly, her lips pulling into a smile as the dog joined her on the sofa.

The man wrote something on his notepad, and then began with his usual ritual. He asked follow-up questions, wondered about work. This was your typical, coffee shop conversation until Archie began discussing some research he had done recently. He had asked Regina to elaborate on her feelings of a divorce, then weigh the pros and cons. After a while, or three details, the pros outweighed the cons, and the list just kept going. It was to the point that there was only one thing that could truly be counted as a con if the couple divorced, and that was that Regina loved her wife. Sadly, a pro that had potential to weigh that out was the fact that Emma didn't love Regina.

"I think... I think I just answered my own question," the mayor stammered, absentmindedly stroking Pongo's head.

Archie tilted his head to the side, completely puzzled. "And what question would that be, Regina?"

"If I should get a divorce."

"And?"

The dark haired woman brought her feet to the floor and slid her heels back on. She grabbed her jacket off of the back of the sofa and picked up her purse. They were only halfway into their scheduled session time, but this appointment had to be cut short due to Regina's answer to his last question.

"I think I need a lawyer."


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote the majority of this while I watched The Bachelor, and let me just say, I wish Whitney would have went home and Becca will win.
> 
> And now that you all are surely judging me, enjoy this chapter and don't hate me too much.
> 
> NO TRIGGER WARNINGS AGAIN. It's a record best.

Instead of grocery shopping, Regina made a detour to Gold's shop, despite her numerous unpleasant feelings towards the imp. Though she didn't trust Gold as far as she could throw him, he was the only person that would know what to do and how to handle it. He had gotten her Henry, and Regina was sure he knew how to begin the divorce process.

She stepped into the shop slowly, a distastful frown on her lips as she noticed the usually unkept and unorganized shelves filled with knick knacks and magical items. While it did come in handy to have the items, Gold really needed a filing system of sorts.

The bell rang above her head and the door closed with a slam, the sound of the imp's ruggish voice interrupting the otherwise silent shop.

"Whatever it is, we're closed, dearie."

Regina rolled her eyes and strolled to the front desk, impatiently waiting for the man to come out of the backroom. "Get out here, imp," the woman demanded, looking around the room casually.

Just as the words slipped from her mouth, the man in question appeared from the other room and walked over to the counter, a smirk lingering on his lips.

"And what brings you here, your majesty?" Rumplestiltskin inquired. "Trouble in paradise?"

She snorted sharply, staring daggers at the imp. "I need a favor, Rumple."

"What kind of favor?" he questioned, the smile continuing to grow with every word that passed his lips.

"I need you to file some paperwork for me."

Rumple's face seemed to fall at that. Frown lines etched his lips, throwing Regina off guard. "What kind of paperwork, Regina?"

The mayor's forehead creased. Gold hardly called her by her name, she was either 'your majesty' or 'dearie'. He was acting uncharacteristically caring, and that worried the dark haired woman.

"I want to file for divorce," Regina said sternly, "without a court involved."

Gold's whole demeanor faltered at the woman. His eyes widened, then narrowed at the woman, practically examining her soul from the outside in.

"You don't have your heart," he said simply, and before Regina could deny the truth, Rumple plunged his hand into her chest, then pulled away immediately.

And there it was, the moment of truth. Regina's secret was out, and her mind began spinning. Her instincts were screaming at her, telling her to throw the imp across the room, storm out in a blaze of fury, and pretend as if this hadn't happened, but she knew it wasn't that simple. She couldn't just let Gold know she was heartless: her secret would get out. Everyone would know... Henry would know. God, Regina couldn't let Henry find out. He would surely hate her.

So Regina began to panic, her hands shaking and magic bubbling to the surface. "You can't tell anyone," she stammered, dark eyes wide with worry. "No one can know, Rumple. I swear if you even think about telling anyone that-"

"Regina, please," he said calmly, holding his hand in the air. "I'm a changed man, but I will not help you until you return your heart to its rightful place."

The former queen snorted, masking her pain just as she always has. "You're delusional if you think I'd do that."

"Fine, then leave."

Gold turned on his heels and started walking back to his storage room, and Regina watched him for the first few steps, but with every step, the woman practically fell to nervousness and she gave in.

"Okay!" She exclaimed, but her voice fell to defeat afterwards. "I'll do it."

With a flick of her wrist, Regina's heart appeared in her hand, and with a strong inhale of breath, she pressed the organ to her chest. She gasped aloud, slowly pushing her heart back in place. Once dulled emotions crashed over her body like a wave, and after the tide calmed, Regina popped to the surface and took a breath. Her body adjusted to the feeling, but not after a few tears squeezing their way out of her eyes.

The former queen blinked repeatedly, swiping the fallen droplets away with the pad of her index finger before glancing at Gold. She knew he had been watching her the entire time, but Regina finally chose to acknowledge the man.

"Let's get on with this," Regina sighed exasperatedly.

\-------

After Regina returned home from Gold's shop and the grocery store, she went upstairs to her bedroom and began packing everything Emma left in there. Then, she went into the spare room and began packing the rest of Emma's belongings. After she finished, she vanished the boxes to the trunk of her Mercedes, knowing it'd save her time. The mayor had to meet Gold at the station where they would confront Emma about the situation.

Gold had told her the many options she had, between the different types of separation to straightforward divorce, and how they could approach it. Regina decided on divorce, of course, and then on the idea of having Gold mediate her and Emma's discussion. They would go over custody, more so, and little things like that, but what was nonnegotiable was the idea that Emma would get half of what Regina owned. The sheriff would receive everything she had brought in the first place, and then they would choose who got what regarding what was bought together.

The knowledge that Regina and her wife would be getting a divorce sent a knife through her heart. She loved Emma, she really did, but this couldn't happen anymore. They couldn't be this...dysfunctional couple any longer. It was affecting them physically and emotionally, and was harming Henry in a similar manner. Someone could mess with the former queen, but when it came to Henry, if a hair on his head was out of place or his emotional well-being was at stake, there would be hell to pay.

Glancing around the normal looking room, the mayor sighed to herself once before leaving the room. She walked down the stairs slowly and gathered her purse and jacket, knowing she's be late if she didn't leave now. The former queen stood at the door and looked at the house, knowing it would be a lot emptier from today on. As soon as she would step out of that door, everything would change, hopefully for the better, so Regina took a deep breath and mustered all the courage she had as she walked out and got into her car, driving towards the police station with a semi-positive outlook on the situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really like writing Gold as a reasonable guy: he's an interesting character, and definitely more likable when he's not laughing like a sociopath. 
> 
> That's just my thoughts, so there's that. I'm going to bed, it's 12:30 am and I have classes in the morning. So goodnight, good morning, and good everything in between.


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina and Emma try to have their much needed talk, but nothing goes as planned.

The drive to the sheriff's station took almost too long. Regina's nerves were running on edge as she neared the building, and her body about exploded when she parked outside of the station. She parked besides Emma's bug. She couldn't take her eyes off of the yellow vehicle, because that's when it hit her.

Regina's stomach dropped to her feet, shortly followed by her heart and every other organ in her body. The wind was knocked out of her by some invisible force. She couldn't breath. Her heart was pounding like a drum in her ears. Regina's palms began sweating, her fingers shaking slightly. It felt like there was lead in her feet, and despite seeing Gold wait for her at the door to the Sheriff's station, she couldn't gather up the nerve to step out of her car.

So she sat there in silence, fingers clawing at the steering wheel, knuckles colored a blinding white. Regina couldn't move, or wouldn't, and if someone asked the definition of anxiety, the answer would be simple. Regina.

Glancing up at Gold, he had his arms crossed over his chest as he watched her, a glint of curiosity in his old eyes. The imp raised his hand up and practically twirled his wrist, signaling for Regina to speed along her process of leaving the Mercedes.

Despite the boulder in her stomach, Regina shut her car off and unbuckled her seat belt. She sat there just for a moment longer, then stepped out of the vehicle, softly closing the door. Her heart sounded like a jackhammer, and Regina worried if someone could actually hear its rapid pounding.

Her life was changing. Or, it would change, as soon as she stepped through those doors. There would be no turning back, no compromises, no empty promises to fix everything because this was the fix. A divorce was the solution, Regina was sure of it, at least her head was sure. Her heart, on the other hand, was a different story. The simple artery, the thing that got her into so much trouble, had other things in mind. It throbbed and ached, begging Regina to reconsider, pleading for her to go home and call it a night. It wanted Regina to sit at home with Emma and be the happy couple they were, curled up on the couch watching movies while Henry was either upstairs, with them, or with a friend.

It should have been simple to convince Regina that she and Emma should divorce, but that damned heart kept reminding her of how hard she worked for a happy ending. Now though, it was all being pried away, just as it had with Daniel.

And now that killed Regina. She could still remember every detail of his face, the way his hair fell, and the little personality quirks he had. She even remembered the way his face cringed in pain and despair as his heart was stolen and crushed by the hand of the mayor's mother.

Perhaps Cora was correct, at least partially. Love was Regina's biggest weakness when it came to lovers, but love was her strength with Henry.

The former queen's head demanded her to stop think of such things, but she only listened when she heard Rumplestiltskin's voice.

"After you, dearie," he spoke softly, his voice like sandpaper as he opened the door.

Regina could do this. She could walk through the door with her head held high, almost proud, but could wasn't the same as can or will. That was one thing Regina knew because she wouldn't be able to present herself in that manner even if she tried, not to Emma that was.

The simple sheriff had broken down ever wall the mayor had built up, and then cleaned the destruction. As cliché as it was, the blonde woman had fixed Regina after she fell apart. Emma had done everything: wiped every tear, extinguished every fever, and soothed every nightmare. The idiotic woman had been everything to Regina, and now she was breaking every promise she ever made to the mayor.

"I can't do this," Regina stuttered, pleading with Gold. "I can't- I just can't."

The man shook his head and placed his hand on Regina's shoulder. "You can, and you will," Rumple stated simply, applying a small, but tender, amount of pressure to the mayor's shoulder. 

"But I-"

"You can," he repeated firmly, "and you will."

That seemed to be motivation enough for Regina to nod her head and cross the threshold of the entrance. The hallway stretched before her ominously, her eyes locked with the door in front of her.

The back of Regina's throat dried as she began to turn around in a panic, but Gold's hand grasping her own reassuringly stopped her in her tracks. She nodded to the man once in gratitude, flashing a quick tug of her lips before staring at the door and frowning.

She had been here many times, but never under these circumstances. Most of the times she came to the station, she either brought lunch to the blonde, picked up paperwork, or managed to have a second lunch, which Emma  _generously_  offered her. Each time passed Regina's eyes in spurts, her subconscious practically hinting for the mayor to reconsider solely based on the women's good memories.

_Regina glanced through the door's window, silently watching as Emma sat on the computer. She seemed to be at work, forehead creasing in focus, but the mayor knew better. The dark haired woman opened the door slowly, making completely sure the door hinges didn't creak as she stepped into the office. She walked on the tips of her toes to silence her heels from clacking against the hard floors. The silence made her a predatory._

_Biting her bottom lip, Regina stood behind the blonde, seeing what had obtained Emma'a unwavering focus. Sure enough, the sheriff was playing some computer game that the mayor frowned upon. With a smirk on her lips, the older woman leaned down and blew a teasing breath into the woman's ear. "I expected better of you, Miss Swan," Regina chastised._

_The blonde jolted around, her head turning strong enough to cause whiplash. "Regina! I was just.. Um.."_

_"Save it," Regina smirked leaning forward to press her lips against the sheriff's. "You're lucky you're married to the mayor."_

_"Very lucky," Emma murmured into the kiss, wrapping her arms around the older woman's neck and pulling her down into the blonde's lap._

Regina blinked for a moment, pushing away the memory. She couldn't remember such things and still push forward with this divorce. Her memories had to be pushed aside if she was to get through this and keep a level head.

Her and Gold's footsteps echoed in her ears, increasing in volume as they approached the door. The dark haired woman brought her head up, straightened her spine, and took a deep breath. She grazed her fingers over the doorknob before twisting it. The wooden door opened slowly, and Regina was the first to step in, Gold directly behind her.

She glanced at the blonde, noting how she was asleep in the office chair. Emma's golden hair was falling over the back of the chair. Her eyes were closed loosely and her mouth was agape. The rise and fall of her chest seemed shallow and less frequent, but everyone was like that. Their heart slowed naturally as they slept, and as a result, their breaths were further apart.

The mayor suggested that Gold closed the door behind them as the shard sound of a click interrupted the otherwise silent Sheriff's station. Regina stood still for a moment, taking in the peaceful sight of her wife before stepping forward.

"Emma," Regina whispered tenderly, just as she had when she had to wake Henry for school. "Emma, wake up."

When the blonde woman didn't stir, the mayor repeated herself, adding a firm edge to her voice.

Yet again, Emma did not stir, and Regina was beginning to worry. Emma was a light sleeper, she always had been, and had frequently woken up if Henry opened his door in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom.

Approaching her wife, Regina placed her hand on the sheriff's bare forearm and gasped at the feeling of clammy, chilled skin. From a few paces away, Emma's skin looked perfectly normal, but closer Regina noticed the usually pale skin was tinted with some shade of blue.

Panic set in the mayor's stomach as she moved her hand to Emma's cheek and caressed it. "Emma, wake up," She continued, volume and urgency increasing as she repeated those three words like a mantra. Continuing to persuade her wife to wake, Regina shook Emma slightly, but when that failed just as everything else had, she pressed two fingers to the blonde's neck, feeling around for her pulse. Searching took a moment, but as soon as she found it, Regina counted. Emma's heartbeat was unbelievably slow. Any slower and the woman would be dead.

Almost on autopilot, Regina picked her wife up and laid her on the ground. "Call Whale," She commanded to Gold, "Tell him we need an ambulance right now." The former queen didn't bother with double checking that Rumplestiltskin was doing as she directed: she knew he would listen. So she continued with what she had learned from a CPR class she had taken before she adopted Henry. Regina laid Emma on her side, setting her in the recovery position to keep her airways open. She grabbed the blonde's jacket and draped it over the sheriff's frail body, trying to contain as much body heat as possible.

How the mayor was keeping her composure was a mystery, even to herself. She should be panicking, but perhaps it was due to the fact that she was so familiar with near-death experiences. Her and Emma had faced them too frequently, but because of that, Regina was able to think clearly with the situation.

She sat beside Emma for what felt like forever, stroking back blonde waves religiously just as paramedics barged through the door, gurney following them. Regina was pushed aside as the men worked with rapid efficiency. As fast as they entered, they left similarly, using all these medical terms that Regina had no clue what they even meant.

They loaded Emma into the ambulance and drove off shortly after. Regina allowed Gold to leave, promising they would talk later just as she rushed to her car and tailed the medical vehicle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me just yet. Please, continue to the next chapter and then you guys can hit me with almost anything you've got.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of Chapter Twelve

Regina sat in the waiting room with Snow and Charming for what felt like eternity when it had only been thirty four minutes. During that time, Regina explained the whole situation, providing every detail of how she found Emma upon Snow's request. The woman was in tears as she clutched Neal to her chest, blubbering incoherent sentences regarding her daughter. Charming consoled his wife as best as possible, maintaining a caring, yet tear-free expression that resembled Regina's. It was almost as if he was in just as much shock as the mayor was.

It wasn't long before Regina had to leave and pick Henry up from school, and as soon as he got into the Mercedes, he knew something was wrong, whether it be son's intuition or the look of utter exhaustion upon the mayor's face. Either way, the adolescent questioned Regina and was none too happy when he heard the truth.

Surprisingly, he wasn't angry over the fact that Regina kept this from him. He had understood that the dark haired woman was just trying her best to protect him, even if it was from his other mother. He was, in fact, upset that his mother had lied that everything was fine. That her and Emma were fine and they were still a perfect family. He asked about the night when he had walked in on them in the foyer: the night Regina was pressed against the wall by Emma. Henry pieced everything together by then: Emma's drinking, his mothers' fights, and even Regina's time period where she was missing her heart. Then the boy began crying, eyebrows furrowing in worry as he inquired about the current status of his birth mother.

Not daring lie to him, Regina told him everything she knew, which was absolutely nothing. The whole time she was at the hospital, no one had came to her; not even Whale. She had been up to the reception desk numerous times, asking about the well-being of her wife, but never receiving any insight on the matter.  Regina had begun to feel irritated, not with one person in particular, but with Emma, the receptionist, Whale, and herself.

She was furious with Emma and how stupid she was being. How the woman could be so selfish and inconsiderate, the mayor would never know, but that had to change, and it was bound to after Regina was told what had happened with the sheriff.

The receptionist and Whale were also on her list, especially Whale. The man didn't have the decency to even inform Regina of what they were doing and when they were doing it. That was the least any of this hospital staff could do.

And finally, she was disappointed in herself for allowing this to continue for so long. Regina should have done something, anything really, earlier. If she had, she wouldn't have been put into such a position, wondering if her wife would make it out of whatever this was.

Mother and son drove back to the hospital and sat in the waiting room, still not having saw anyone besides the Charmings. When they arrived, Snow beckoned Henry to sit beside her, but he refused and practically glued himself to his mother's side, whether it be for Regina's or his own comfort. The teenage boy held his mother's hand firmly while his head rested on the woman's shoulder.

Silence stretched over the five of them as they waited and Regina grew impatient with every passing second. She alternated between crossing and uncrossing her legs and bouncing the leg resting on the other. The seemed to contain her anxiety for a short time before she stood up abruptly.

"Regina, where're you going?" Snow inquired.

Regina ignored the woman's question and stormed over to the reception desk for the umpteenth time that day. The female receptionist glanced up at her with a sigh before repeating the exact line Regina had heard before. "I'm sorry, Miss Mills, I have no insight on the well-being of your wife. Please be seated and Doctor Whale will be with you when he is free."

"Now you listen here," The former queen snarled, staring bullets at the receptionist. "I have been sitting in that damned room for long enough. I demand you tell me what's going on with Emma or, so help me, I'll-"

"Regina."

Pivoting on her heels, the dark haired woman turned to face Whale. She almost heard the receptionist exhale a breath of release as she walked away from the front desk.

Suddenly Regina's throat instantly felt dry as she spoke. "Is she alright?"

The man nodded his head slowly. "She'll live. It seems that your wife was and is suffering from alcohol poisoning. Her BAC, blood alcohol content, was at a critical level, almost .3%. At that point, Emma was severely impaired. Her speech, memory, coordination, et cetera were all significantly impaired. The amount of alcohol in her system was enough to cause hypothermia, seizures, vomiting, mental confusion, and even cause her body to go into a coma. Luckily, you got to her just in the nick of time. As soon as Emma got here, we inserted an IV to administer fluids, then proceeded by inserting a tracheostomy tube to insure she was breathing. We inserted another tube down her nose in order to flush her stomach of the excessive alcohol content to prevent further damage. Prior to that a catheter was inserted-"

The mayor raised her hand to silence the doctor. "I understand the procedure, dear. Just tell me if she'll be alright."

"Define your version of 'fine'."

Regina sighed softly, voice lowering an octave. "Is she alive?"

"Of course," Whale said with what seemed to be a hint of amusement laced in his words. "We removed the tube a few minutes ago after we were sure she was stabilized. Would you like to see her?"

That wasn't even a question that needed an answer in Regina's mind, but obviously it wasn't obvious to the man. "Yes," she breathed, then glanced over at Henry and the rest.

Before she could even utter the question, the doctor shook his head. "Only one visitor at a time. We wouldn't want Miss Swan to get overwhelmed."

Nodding in understanding, Regina took a breath and looked down the hall. "Which room?"

"137."

"Thank you," the mayor smiled softly, then turned to walk away, "Tell the others," she called behind her.

Glancing through the small window of the door, Regina's heart stopped a beat at the sight of Emma lying in a hospital bed. She walked into the room and sat on the edge of the blonde's bed. She stared at the multiple machines hooked up to her wife before brushing a piece of golden hair out of Emma's face.

Emma's eyes fluttered open, slowly recognizing the woman before her. Regina leaned forward slightly and pressed a tender kiss to the sheriff's forehead, her nose, then her lips. "You scared the hell out of me, Emma," she whispered, forehead creasing in worry.

“I’m fine,” the woman croaked, attempting to sit up but instead falling back with a cringe and groan.

"Of course you are," Regina responded, patting the blonde forward slightly and propping a pillow behind here. "There," she murmured, "Now you can sit up."

Emma muttered "thanks" and sat staring at the woman in front of her, unexpressed emotions lining the features of her face. Regina did the same, but watched the blonde with longing and exhaustion.

The sheriff broke the silence first, her voice a mere whisper. "Why did you come to the station?"

"To talk to you about us."

"And what exactly," Emma snorted, "were you planning on discussing?"

Regina stood from the bed and placed her hand on Emma's knee. "Perhaps we shouldn't talk about that right now. It can wait until you're able to come home."

The thing was, Regina wasn't sure if it  _could_ wait. She was worried that things could escalate, but Regina did know that as soon as Emma was capable of caring for herself, they would talk. But maybe the mayor didn't want to divorce Emma. Maybe she did. Perhaps it was just because of the fear that had been instilled in the dark haired woman when she found Emma cold and hanging to life by a thread. Maybe that was clouding her judgement. Yes, that's what it was, Regina was sure of it.

"No!" the blonde exclaimed, surging forward, but falling back right after, yet again in pain, but that didn't stop her from continuing. "No, tell me right now. What was so damn important that you had to come and see me while I was on shift."

"Emma, please" Regina begged, staring into Emma's green eyes. "Let's just drop if for now."

Emma shook her head stubbornly, her jaw set and eyes hard upon Regina.

With an exasperated sigh, the mayor frowned deeply and moved to the opposite side of the room. She placed herself into a chair directly opposite of Emma's bed. For a moment, she just sat there, chest heaving and worrying her bottom lip with her teeth.

"Gold and I had a.. discussion previously." The older woman was beating around the bush, and she knew that, but for some reason, Regina couldn't get the words out. Maybe that was because if she said it to Emma, it would finally be true. The fantasy of a divorce would no longer be just a thought.

"About?"

Regina took a breath, placing one hand over her stomach out of nervous habit. "I want a-" The former queen choked on the word. "-a divorce."

"Wh-what did you say?" Emma questioned, her voice saturated with confusion and another emotion that Regina couldn't quite place.

The mayor almost drowned in the green ocean of Emma's eyes. Furious waves crashed over Regina mercilessly and she sputtered water like a child learning how to swim.

"I want a divorce," She repeated softly, blinking her eyes repeatedly.

A short silence came over the room until Emma burst into angry laughter. "Of course you do."

Furrowing her eyebrows in confusion, Regina stood from her seat swiftly, hands resting on her hips. "And just what are you implying by that?"

"Just that if you're divorce, you won't have to feel guilty anymore."

Snorting, the former queen rolled her eyes. "I have nothing to be guilty over."

"Oh really?" the sheriff inquired, raising her eyebrow in amusement.

"Really."

Emma chuckled, then spat, "Not even your secret, poorly kept by the way, affair with Tinkerbell?"

Regina was bewildered at the accusation. Her dark eyes bulged at her wife and the way Emma continued to laugh darkly. 

"I'm not having an affair with Tinkerbell," Regina stated simply, hand over her stomach yet again.

The younger woman shook her head in disbelief. "Don't lie to me, Regina. I'm not an idiot."

"That's debatable."

"Oh, how I missed your humor," Emma responded sarcastically.

The women stayed in place, silence stretching over them as they stared. Regina sagged her shoulders and set her jaw. She ran her eyes over Emma once more, noting that her skin had turned pinker, meaning she was warmer, but her legs were shaking, and Regina wasn't sure if it was nervous or out of coldness.

Out of instinct, most likely, Regina moved back to the bed and sat. She began rubbing one of Emma's legs, in both a comforting and warming manner.

"Why do you think I cheated on you?" The woman spoke up, not able to look at Emma, so instead she watched her hand

The sheriff's voice snapped her eyes away and practically forced Regina to look at her. "I don't think, I know you cheated on me."

The former queen sighed exasperatedly and decided to humor her wife's theory. "Then how do you know I cheated on you?"

"I saw underwear in your suitcase after you went on your little trip with her, and they sure as hell weren't your's because I've seen every pair." That sent Regina blushing. Of course Emma had seen practically every pair of Regina's underwear. They were married. Emma continued, "And they certainly weren't new because they didn't have a tag. So tell me I'm wrong to assume those weren't someone else's, specifically Tink's."

Pursing her lips, Regina thought back. She remembered going on a trip with Tinkerbell, mainly because the blonde fairy had begged for her to go. Regina had agreed solely on the facts that she and the fairy needed someone she trusted, and that they needed to spend time together. The mayor would never violate Emma's trust in her by leaving and intending to sleep with another woman. She had no desire to do such a thing: she loved Emma.

And dealing with the underwear, there was more to the story than just finding Tinkerbell's undergarments in her suit case. Regina wasn't sure how they got in there, but both her and Tink realized it a day after returning. They had both been so tired from traveling, especially Regina.

When the mayor got home, the first thing she did was greet her family, take her luggage upstairs, jump in the shower, and fall asleep. She had no energy to unpack her bags; they could wait until in the morning.

And Regina finally understood why her wife had been so distant. Why when they fought the next night and the mayor told Emma to sleep in the guest room, the blonde chose to stay there instead of returning to their bed. It made all the sense in the world, yet Regina never even thought of, let alone considered, the possibility.

Exhaling her breath, Regina explained everything, and once she finished, Emma surged forward, ignoring her pain, and embraced the older woman. "You better not be lying to me," she sobbed dryly.

"I'm not," the former queen soothed, gently rubbing circles on the blonde's back.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of chapters twelve and thirteen.

"You still want a divorce," Emma croaked in more of a statement rather than a question, pulling back from the dark haired woman's embrace.

Regina stared at the woman in silence, her heart breaking in her chest. Emma's voice sounded so.. needy. Broken. Desperate. The mayor had caused this. She had promised to stay with Emma, and Emma in turn. That was part of their wedding vows. They promised "until death do we part". Of course there were numerous examples of couples breaking their vows with divorce, but between her and Emma, this small promise held more meaning.

Both promised to never leave, to not abandon the other just as everyone else had. Emma promised to stay with Regina, even with her list of cruelties against the inhabitants of the Enchanted Forest and Storybrooke. Regina promised to never abandon Emma, just as Neal had. Each woman swore to love and protect the other, until death do they part.

Pressing her lips together, the former queen tried to smile at the blonde, tried to give some sort of reassurance, but she couldn't. Instead, Regina curled her legs onto the hospital bed, and laid her hands on her own knees. "I don't know," she said softly, a frown etching her lips.

Emma hid her hands in her face, her back heaving slowly. The speed of her back moving increased gradually, and Regina was left to sit there and watch her wife sob. She wanted to comfort Emma, partially due to motherly instincts, but majorly caused by her love for the sheriff. As angry as Regina was with the blonde, she loved her with all her heart. Even if she decided a divorce was best, she would still love the woman, but it would have proven that her love just wasn't enough.

"Please," Emma cried, tears wrecking her body.

If it was possible, Regina's heart would have shattered light glass at the sight. She had rarely ever seen the woman like this. The only times she had seen Emma in such a state was when she first spoke to Regina about her childhood. Even then, the mayor wanted to hold the blonde until she fell asleep out of exhaustion.

Leaning forward, the dark haired woman wrapped her arms around her wife, resting her chin against Emma's head. "Emma," she shushed, "please stop crying."

"Can't."

It was hardly audible due to the heavy sobs that were shaking the blonde's body, but Regina knew what Emma was saying.

"Lay back," Regina comforted, combing Emma's blonde tresses with her fingers. "You need to sleep, dear. We are both exhausted."

Shaking her head slowly, Emma sniffled. "No," she whimpered stubbornly.

Knowing this would be a battle, the former queen pressed her lips to the crown of Emma's head. "I'll make you a deal, sweetheart. If you rest for a few hours, I will stay right by your side until you wake up. Then, when you're released, Henry will go home with your parents, and we'll go see Dr. Hopper and talk."

"I don't wanna go see Dr. Hopper," the sheriff whined, and Regina swore the younger woman was acting just like their son.

"That's my only offer, Emma."

Regina watched her wife closely. The blonde lifted her head languidly, and the former queen was forced to just how hard Emma was crying. Her eyes were red and puffy. Her pale cheeks were blotched with red, and visible streaks of tears followed a long, shaky patchy down to her chin before falling.

Squeezing unshed tears from her eyes, Emma sniffled loudly. "Okay," she conceded weakly.

The dark haired woman wiped Emma's tears with her thumb gently before pressing a chaste kiss to her nose. "Good girl," Regina whispered motherly, and guided the blonde down onto the bed. Emma didn't fight the movement, but she seemed to welcome it as she fell back into the soft pillows and instinctively shut her eyes.


End file.
